Diaries Magazine

I Asked a Famous Person Out.

Posted on the 16 May 2011 by Lauralevites

If you are famous, and I admire your work, whether it’s music, writing, performing, acting whatever it is I do not want to meet you. I am in the entertainment business, and have often met people I fancy only to be extremely disappointed by their bad attitude, lack of kindness or bad behavior.  So rule of thumb for me, I would rather put you on my imaginary pedestal of greatness and enjoy your art ,and the fantasy I have created about you then ever meet you in reality.

I met someone once who was friends with Madonna.  Do you know how many nights I have spent with Madonna?  Madonna is my best friend.  We dance together while I get dressed to go on dates, she consoles me and tells me I deserve better when my heart is broken,  and when I’m feeling lonely Madonna cheers me up.  My friend told me a story about how Madonna was mean to her.  Why didn’t she just stab me in the chest with a knife instead?  I need Madonnas music in my life, it makes me feel better. How can I listen to it if I know she hurt somebody I care about?  I can’t and I need Madonna. I need Madonna, Stevie Nicks, Lady Gaga, and a list of others.  I need them all of them.  I am a depressed girl thats been fucked over by life, I have something to prove I need inspiration.

I am a comedian, and working on a few projects right now, some of which I need help with or maybe its guidance? There is a woman in this business, I admire greatly.  If I could sit down and talk to anyone, it would be her, she has been at the top of my “list” for a while.  Last week I found out that she was doing something in my neighborhood, right down the street from my house.  This is a sign, I must go, I must go and speak to her.

I prepare myself mentally for this, for the disappointment I am sure to face.  Truth is she could cut off my arm and I would still think she is amazing!

So I did go, I saw her walk into the bar and watched her from the corner of my eye.  Is this what stalkers do?  Yes Laura, your broke and desperate it has come to this your stalking people right now, go home .  I watched her go to the bar and order a drink, I now know what she drinks.  I knew she drank already because I did research on her, because that’s what you do when your crazy.  I feel crazy.  I know I’m not, what I really want is just a conversation with someone who knows more than I do. I can do this, I need to do this, I need to be able to ask for help.

I waited for her outside, yep I’m officially stalking, and when she came out I called out her name.  She turned to me, I tried to not come across like a stumbling creepy idiot and I asked her out.  I said, “would you please have a cup of coffee with me?”  I admit I expected the worst, I expected her to look at this crazy girl and give me some sort of excuse and I was prepared for that.  But she smiled, she smiled at me and complimented my hair and said, yes.  Just as she was giving me her email address, and I was putting it into my phone, my phone froze.  Ha, why would this go smoothly?   I’m surely frightening her now, I am actually shaking.   I can’t even use my phone right.  C’mon God, I’m trying here help me out please.  I got my phone to work, and got her email.

I sent her an email and she responded kindly right away.  She’s nice, I can leave her up on the pedestal, great I like her even more now.  We set a time to meet, and I was anxiously counting the minutes until…. she cancelled.

I am used to sitting around waiting for that special someone to call me but now, I sit with my computer on staring at my email all day.  I also get all my emails to my phone, so who needs a phone number anyway.  So here I am out and about staring at my phone hoping, praying, that I will get an email.

This has been going on for a week, me staring at electrical equipment.

When today I received the email, and an apology.  Holy shit!!!!!!  Hmm, I was like do I respond right away or wait a few minutes to make her think I am busy and have things going on in my life.  I couldn’t help it, I responded right away and we are meeting Wednesday.

Now, I just have to survive the minutes, hours, seconds, until Wednesday.  It’s too bad you can’t buy patience at Rite Aid.

I’m taking out someone famous, and I am buying.

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