Really. I do. Each and everyone of vous. I also love vous, as in the formal and plural tense in French.
"That's it! She's officially lost it!", I'm sure some of you are thinking. But really, one of my biggest fascinations with the romance languages is the idea of speaking formally and informally, and how this simply does not exist in English. Of course we have our formalities and polite ways of expressing ourselves, but not the distinct difference that exists in Italian, French and Spanish. It turns out that the romance languages aren't the only ones who follow this guideline (actually, I'm sure all languages do). Last night at a party in the Marais, I was speaking with a Russian-French couple who have had to conduct their relationship in beginner's level English. Since both of their mother languages practice the use of the formal and informal, they have found it strange that this idea does not exist in modern English. They also wanted to know, aside from the formal aspect of it, how do we specify who we are talking to in a room with more than one person in it. Good question. How do we address more than one person in English? Do we say "you guys"? Or "you all"? Do we make eye contact with each person we're addressing? I honestly forgot. And not in that pretentious "I speak French now therefore I forgot my English" kind of way. I hate that. I really did forget how we clearly direct to whom we're speaking to in a group.
And on a side note: I must be getting old and boring if analyzing grammar and languages is my now "go-to" cocktail party conversation starter. Good Lord. At family dinners with Séb's family, it's unspoken that I'm the only one speaking in the formal vous, echoing family dinners at my ex-fiancé MF's house where I was never invited to speak in the informal. I wonder if Séb's family will ever grant me the green light to join in all of the informal fun in tu. I do know that you can't just smuggle it in hoping it will go unnoticed. I tried this method with my French teacher in New York, and each time he would totally shut me down by sternly responding while placing emphasis on the vous.
On our way home from the party on the Vespa, Séb asked me if I wanted him to send out an email to his relatives requesting if I can now speak in the informal, because even he finds it strange that I'm the only one "vouvoyer-ing" everyone. Never mind the fact that it would come across completely pushy and strange, I had to consider, did I want to take away from the cultural bliss that is speaking completely different than everyone else at the table? Okay, I wouldn't exactly say it's blissful, but it does make me feel kind of special that I'm the only one who speaks formally. I guess I just love the old world-ness of it.
After giving it some thought - like three minutes - I told him that I didn't want to change anything, and for crying out loud do not send out an email that would make me look like a total American bitch. Speaking in the formal vous with my soon-to-be family is just another facet of my experience in France. It's the little things like this that makes life special and different than it was in the States...and I love it.
To my friends in Franco-Anglo relationships, how do you speak to your in-laws? And if you are speaking in tu, at what point did you cross over?
