Roses from S
On Friday we held a tiny dinner for my birthday at S' place.It's always nice to meet good old friends, especially the ones you wished you had all the time in the world to do everything with, the ones that make you tears dripping from laughter, and the ones you can dream aloud with. I had such a good time! Right until we started to mention what we all were doing and our plans for the future.
It turned that everyone of my friends had some sort of plan for the future. I don't even have the vaguest idea. Worrying keeps taking a grip of me now and then. My head is saying "I should do this and this and this" while my heart is shouting "But I want this and this and this...". Oh, if only I could go back and chose my career all over again. Then, I guess, all of us think that sometimes. Even when we know what a complete waste of time it is. Don't you agree?
I have really done my fair share of worrying, self loathing and blaming. It has burned me out and I keep getting exhausted. I'm done with it. Whatever will be, will be. Whatever I'll do, I'll do it for me. And I'll make the best of it. Basta!
