Illustrated Short Stories for "Kids"..... :)

It would seem, that anyone who ever was once a child, has it in their head, that they can write childrens books/short stories. Well, since i was once a kid, I got to thinking, hell, I should be able to write a childrens short story...... So, here is my first in a series of "Illustrated Short Stories for Children.....   Poor Grandpa>.....Grandpa is suffering, a bad case of gas
Farting and sputtering sounds right out of his ass…..Though he suffers in silence, the poor old dear
The smell is excruciating, and is polluting the air…..It isn’t because we don’t love him and want him close
But we’d all be better off, if he was comatose…..
Well, it’s been a few months that passed by
And poor old grandpa, well, didn’t he die…….
Grandpa we miss you, always quick with a zinger
Unfortunetly, that is the wrong finger………. 
I'm thinking my next childrens Short Story will be:Grandma, Your Too Old for Those "Toys"The Dangers of Peanut Butter........Since I've decided to put together short stories for children, I thought maybe I should try and teach the little rugrats things that may help them through life.... I now present "the dangers of peanut butter"............ or, peanut butter can lead to sex........
Little Roy sure did like to eat
And peanut butter he thought was sweet…..
His mom would give him peanut butter each day
With his promise of being good and keep quiet and play…..
Little Roy got some peanut butter on his lap
And Found his dog loved it … and how, holy crap!
 
Sadly, little roys dog up and died…..
Little roy, he cried and cried………
Looking out his window one summer day
His heart beat faster, and he began to swayThere was a pretty little girl next door
Maybe she’d like peanut butter like his dog did before….
Yup, peanut butter can be dangerous, and lead to sex................. always wear a condom before using peanut butter........ BB84CBJNBGNM