In and Out of Dreams..

In and out of dreams, I goToday, it's a lifetimeThe past, the present and everything in betweenHas itself revealed
To me,As I readAs I dreamTo me, it should seem
Out there in the darknessThat swallows me a-wholeBitter sweet memories grab my wristAnd twist it and my heart, it slits
In and out of dreams, I plungeAs I go on readingI wish and wish to dream of heroesWith battle axes, longswords and throesOf knights and Kingsguards,Theirs Lords, their King, and of their whores
It is of them I readAnd it is of them I must dream as I dozeYet, it seems that I teemWith heartbeats, pain; a thorny rose
And thus, I dream of not those wildKnights and Lords and all their kindBut of embraces sweet and warmBundles of love, cuddled up inside
Of loving gazes that once were mineSoft touch that drove me wildNose to nose, cheek to cheekSoul to soul, my eyes would weep
And then came those outbursts loudBeating, crying, hurting of ourselvesThat sours such dreams and ICome back to the present, eyes dry
Pick back my book and start where I leftAnd hope and hope of dreaming of these men instead..
But alas, I plunge once moreInto the darkness that swallows me a-wholeI dream of you and me and homeA St.Bernard, Robin, Nick and Rose
In and out of dreams, I goAnd hope against hope to be stronger some moreYet I find, to my delight,There was a courage in my weakness long agoAnd weakness scattered all alongThis courage I try to sow
In and out of dreams, I goThis darkness swallows me a-whole..