Is your kitchen fugly?
Dream BIG.
There is hope for you.
Pursue big dreams instead of small realities.
If I can work with the worlds fugliest kitchen … then anyone can do it. My kitchen had a face that only a mother could love. And I slapped it.
You don’t have to be as dramatic as I was.
Although if you slap your kitchen, I will just stand back and snicker. That would be entertaining. I want to watch.
After you see the photos in this blog post and realize how my kitchen was a little shop of horrors, it will make your kitchen seem like a walk in a beautiful park full of unicorns and sparkly fairies.
Don’t believe me? Get ready to be mortified. You may actually want to cover your eyes and go stand in the corner and suck your thumb.
AFTER :
The original kitchen was a dark hole of grossness. It was a place where happiness went to die. The only hope for the kitchen was to paint anything that didn’t move ~ white.
Once you go white, you never go back. What. Never mind.
Before you naysay and pooh-pooh a white kitchen, you should know that we are
A family of:
- 4 kids,
- one hubby
- 3 square meals a day (sort of),
- many visiting friends,
- a lot of visiting family members,
- oodles of events and going ons ,
- many bottles of red wine,
- one very big dog,
- 3 cats who think they own the joint,
- the occasional mouse and
- some bastardly squirrels.
Not all of them are allowed in the house but that is not the point.
We live in a white kitchen and it works like a charm. Nuff said.
All of the chair pads and slipcovers throughout the kitchen are white and washable. White is easier to clean than you think. I use my homemade {delish} laundry soap and I use fantastic spray bleach for stains. I discovered that stuff one time when I missed my sink and hit the chair.
Bam.
Pow !
Clean sink AND clean slipcovered chair.
Who can ask for more than that?
In the event of a chair catastrophe you can even replace the stool slip covers at Ikea for $10 each. I bought a second set for red wine emergencies. Not that the emergencies happen. They totally happen.
Most importantly, that flippin’ Ikea bar stool is also the worlds most comfortable stool. You can curl up in it and fall into a food coma. It’s $79 at Ikea. Hello, sahhhweet price.
{ You should know that I’m still afraid to show you the before photos of the kitchen.}
The photos are that bad. And I owned a 29 cent camera. I don’t think cell phones were invented back then. I like that you think I’m joking.
My kitchen was enough to make a grown woman cry. Oh wait. I did. It was enough to put any sane soul over the edge. Oh wait. I did that too. I contemplated Thelma and Louise-ing it over a cliff several times.
The original kitchen was actually four rooms of stupidness. They made no sense. We removed every wall possible. Luckily, nothing fell on our heads. I did hire a professional, and I crossed my fingers behind my back. I might have crossed everything I had.
If you have an option to tear out a wall, do it. Let ‘er rip. Blow it outta there. When in doubt, tear it out.
Part of the problem of some kitchen designs is that the work spaces face into black walls of darkness. Ewww. If you are going to wash dishes, you sure as hell don’t want to stare at a wall when you are doing them. Torture.
Make your space FEEL good.
We live in a 100 year old farmhouse. We bought it 10 years ago. We live on 100 acres. I feel like I’m 100 years old. I went through 100 tylenol pills.
Our place was a dive had potential when we moved in. Potential to cause me to drink a 100 bottles of wine. By myself. All at once. In the corner of the kitchen. While sucking my thumb.
What is worse than terrible? It was that. It was enough to make you shit a kitten. That bad. Worse. Definitely worse.
Don’t believe me? Cover your eyes if you have a weak stomach for ugly.
G.R.o.S.s.
The kids were the best part.
The house had not been a victim of any sort of fabulousness for a very long time. It was a diamond in the rough. Maybe a cubic zarconia. Actually, probably just a pebble that needed some shining with spit and a serious polish.
It had the potential to sparkle.
But we had to dig deep to find it.
And we finally did.
HOME
To give you a sense of our initial dire situation, my brother-in-law drove up our driveway on the first week that we moved in and said to me :
Jim : Have you lost your mind? {He did smile. It was funny for a moment}
Me : I’ll whip this place into shape. It’ll be rad. You’ll see me on the news.
My inside voice : Is that my heart beating so loud ? Is this what a heart attack feels like? Should I have considered crop dusting the fields with happy drugs? I wonder if they grow dope around here? Was I bat shit crazy?
But {deep down} I had a home design goal.
Pure, effortless, classic, REAL & quite simply simple.
It was my home design goal then, and is still my goal to this day.
Do you have a home design goal ? Now that the kids are back in school, you might be having a blast missing them dearly and you might even start to contemplate some ways to funk up your kitchen.
This is how you prepare :
Step one: Jump up and down on the beds after the kids get on the school bus.
Step two: Have pillow fights. With the wall.
You are now officially warmed up to start your projects.
The kitchen is always a good place to start.
Your kitchen does not need to be a place where happiness goes to die.
Make it a happy place.
Need some inspiration?
Note : There is one wee humungous problem with Pinterest.
Pinterest = impossibly delicious. Errrmahhgerd.
Pinterest :
You will be so inspired by the kitchens that you see! Part of you will jump for freaking joy, and the other part will want to high-five Pinterest in the head. With a chair.
Remember to use those kitchen inspiration boards for bits and bobs of inspiration. The overall kitchen isn’t real. It is like a supermodel figure. They aren’t real either. Fake kitchens can just suck it. So can fake supermodel photo shopped pics, but don’t get me started.
Grab snippets of ideas from each kitchen. Before you know it, you will have an inspiring plan. Or a really pretty kitchen Pinterest board. Same same but different.
Need more inspiration? I’ve written a ton of DIY blog posts full of great ideas for your home. You can find them here : There is no place like home.
Make your home feel warm
Go easy on yourself with your plans. Don’t beat yourself up about your kitchen. There is always hope. One step at a time. One foot in front of the other. Get ready, I have a bunch of blog posts lined up for you with cool ideas for your kitchen.
Keep it simple. Keep it real.
You know you have a real kitchen when …
1. There is a science experiment growing in the fridge.
2. There is an unidentifiable sticky something stuck to the floor
3. Dirty strangers bring filthy dishes into the kitchen in the middle of the night and leave them everywhere. The gruby little turds leave a disheveled mess. Dirty bastards.
4. It’s a place where you can play with cooking utensils, wire, beads and food – but not all at the same time. That would be gross.
It can take you ages and stages to grow your kitchen and that’s okay. It is better to live in a space and get a feel for what you love. Rome wasn’t built in a day.
If you follow this kitchen series, you will have a ton of ideas coming your way. Follow the blog for the latest updates to be delivered directly into your email inbox.
Before and After Crazies :
Are you ready for the before and after shots of the kitchen? I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours.
Ewwwh.
Never mind.
I am over caffeinated when I write and it makes me a bit zealous.
Slaps forehead.
Get ready to gasp.
BEFORE :
AFTER :
On the way to improvement
PS. I’ve changed the backsplash since this photo was taken. You can read about the smashing story the original mosaic backsplash here if you would like to make your own backsplash too. More on that later.
A great kitchen takes time. An evolution. It takes time to make it into something special. Something that feels good. Like skinny jeans evolved from bell bottoms. How’d that happen? It took some time.
BEFORE :
AFTER :
Yes, I believe all kitchens should have a sofa in them { where possible }. Can’t do it? Take out a wall. Problem solved. Tahh-dahhh.
BEFORE :
Help !
AFTER :
Whew …
Over the years, you can make baby step changes in the kitchen. Sometimes giant leaps. Tread with caution. I did. My husband purse strings will notice if a new sink suddenly appears in the kitchen. I tread lightly. Softly. Then bam. Kitchen sink.
PS. Sneak peak of new backsplash in the photo below 
Those big ass gorgy gorgeous farmhouse sinks are hard to hide from men. Believe me, I tried. They are a great price at Ikea, by the way. We bought a double sink and a single sink. Having two sinks in a kitchen is d’bomb dot com. Try it. You’ll like it. Mikey did.
I took one for the team by shopping for sinks at the Swedish Labryinth {also known as Ikea.}
PS. Ikea = Swedish for divorce.
I love that place. I hate that place.
On my last trip, I left with two farmhouse sinks, one zillion kitchen drawer handles, 59 candles, 2 slip covered dining chairs and one {hot dog} ! I’m surely going to die now. Do you think an Ikea hot dog is in a food group somewhere? Maybe a food group for idiots. I might be the poster child. There is nothing good for you in a hot dog. (but the mojo in eating one is marvellous)
If you are going to spend some moola in your home, spend it in your kitchen. And on the occasional hot dog. And let’s not forget your …
Faucets :
I have fallen head over heels in love with Delta Faucets. I should apply to be the president of their fan club. I wonder if I have to do a breathalyzer for that job? Hmmm. I might need to rethink it.
At a time like this, when the economy is tighter than bark on a tree, you want to spend your money wisely. And you want some great customer service to come with it. Right? Right ! I like you already. Great minds think alike.
Why LOVE Delta and Brizo faucets ?
Are they gorgy gorgeous ? Check √
Are they functional with solid construction ? Check √
Do they have great customer service ? Check √
Can you turn their touch faucets on and off by kissing the faucet ? Check √
Do they respond to you on twitter* ? Check √
Sold !
That’s a pretty sweet slice of awesomeness. Fab company !
* Any company that responds quickly via social media is a rock star in my books. Go ahead and try. Tweet @DeltaCanada ~ tell them that their fan club president says hello. Hiccup. I bet they will tweet you back. Ask them anything about their faucets. Try and trick them with crazy faucet questions. It won’t work. They are smart faucet folks. Just sayin’. I tried.
We went with touch faucets in the kitchen. That’s right.
Touch activated faucets. <– I screamed that.
They are super - dope - rad
Touch activated faucets are sort of like men. Actually, identical. With a European design. They even turn on when you kiss them. And you think I lie. I took the idea for a test run. I have kissed men and faucets. They both turn on when you kiss them. The proof was in the pudding.
Touch faucets are all that and a bag of chips.
The faucets will feel like the yin to your yang.
The ping to your pong.
The normal to your crazy.
A little piece of faucet Heaven.
Heaven with a lot of water, but Heaven nonetheless.
We decided on this faucet from Delta for a kajillion reasons ~ one of which, it makes me want to do the happy dance in my kitchen.
Why invest in your kitchen ? :
Why spend the big bananas in one room of your house? Because that is where you spend all.your.time.
If not, you are not a real person. Skit. Skat. Skedaddle.
Kitchens are almost always the best investment in your home. Spending renovation moola in the grand central station of your home is usually a very wise choice. Unless you renovate it and make it uglier. Don’t do that. I will slap you.
AND
I can help you with some coolio kitchen ideas to inspire some funkiness in your life.
Because I love you like that.
Design the life you love, love the life you live.
One big problemooooo : I have so many ideas and I can’t jam them all into one blog post. I’m not that smart. We have do this in a kitchen series. Can you handle that? Should I pour you a drink, or are you going to be okay?
Need something to get you by until the kitchen series is out? Click here for some epic ideas for your home.
Just to make this a little easier for you… I’m giving away some free tickets to the Home Show.
I know. I know.
You are easy.
I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that.
Hussy.
Here’s what’s up for grabs : 16 tickets to the Toronto Fall Home Show. October 3-6. Better Living Centre. Exhibition Place, Toronto, Ontario Canada.
How to win :
Like the Design The Life You Want to Live Facebook page and like this post :
Post by Design The Life You Want To Live.Tell me some kitchen stories in the comment section of the blog. I love a juicy story. Share your favourite kitchens on the Facebook page.
If you don’t have Facebook, pin this photo :
And let me know about it in the comment section of the blog. If you have a yummy pinterest page, let me know about that. I love discovering new stuff via Pinterest. Epic ideas are sparked over there !
If you are not a Canuck, wearing a toque, getting ready for a mad winter ahead AND you don’t want to play on Facebook, then talk to me anyway. Tell me your cray cray kitchen stories. I love a good kitchen story.
Hmmm… like this one …. when the fire department came to put out a chimney fire in our kitchen. For the fourth time. We are now on a first name basis with the chief.
BEFORE :
I love the look on my daughter Tristan’s face :
Let me just casually lean up against the counter and pretend that the fire department is not in my kitchen.
Or
My other daughter Mackenzie :
Is that a birds nest hairdo on the back of her head?!!
I am an unfit mother.
AFTER :
Turning pendant large drum lighting from West Elm
I promise, I still have four kids, they are just hiding around the corner. All hell broke loose after this photo. #GoodTimes.
Be weird. Normal is the new boring.
PS. The fire department visits happened 10 years ago. I might still be blushing.
On a better note (and one that doesn’t cause a hot flash)… I can’t wait to share with you what this space looks like now.
Oh. la. la. <- I meant that about the fireman AND the outdoor space.
Since the whole kitchen chimney fire fiasco, some of the firefighters have become our pals. They even park their truck here on occasion. What?! Wait until they found out that we took it for spin.
Nudge nudge. Wink wink.
Joking.
Not really.
Dear Durham Fire Department,
You might want to check under your seats for some bubble gum wrappers, bottle caps, and fire crackers.
Love,
You, Me and Dupree.
Vroom Vroom
Sources: Farmhouse sink: Ikea, Touch faucet: c/o Delta Faucets, Wood countertops: reclaimed vintage floor boards, Kitchen Stools: Ikea, Large overhead lighting in dining & sofa area: West Elm, Slipcovered sofas: Ikea, Backsplash tile: Home Depot (discontinued), Free home show tickets c/o Marketplace Events
