I have two cats, and the oldest is named Perdita. Though we brought her home to be a cat to both of us, she’s been 100% Dave’s cat since the very beginning. You can read all about how she became part of our life here: My Husband’s Furry Soulmate
Perdita loves Dave.
She chats to him, responds to him, and comes when he calls. She sits by his side while he’s working, and he’s even attached a cat basket to his desk to make it more convenient for both of them.
He says, “Perdita, do you want to help me?” and then she goes over to sit in the basket. For the record, this doesn’t really qualify as “helping”.
I’ve even seen him just pause and look around the room– and she runs out of a separate room to sit by his side, as if she knew he was about to call for her.
When he goes to take a shower, or run an errand, this is what I see for hours on end:
She waits. Eventually, he’ll walk back in through that door.
Perdita and I have an odd relationship because, though we’re not nearly as bonded as Dave and she– we’re very much connected empathetically.
It’s more than empathy, even. It’s einfühlungsvermögen. It’s a deep understanding of each others feelings, motives, and responses. I can always tell when she’s upset by something, and why. She can always tell when I’m upset by something, and why.
It takes us both awhile to explain it to Dave and Flash.
It goes beyond emotional states, too. My lungs aren’t exactly the best in the entire world, and some days, I feel worse than other days. It’s usually small indicators– a light blue color that appears in my nails, a dark purple under my eyes, and a slightly slowed thought process. Often, she’ll notice before I do.
She sits by my side, and licks my hair.
It’s gross, but I’m pretty sure she means well.
Yesterday, I began my post for the letter “E”, and what was supposed to be the simple telling of a story in the past, became a cry-festival. Perdita was by my side before the first tear fell, and was sitting on my lap by the time I started, and finally just shut my laptop by jumping on it from across the bed.
Laptop bad.
Laptop make Rara cry.
I know if the house was on fire, and Perdita had the opportunity to save people, she’d rescue Dave first, Flash second, and me last. No offense to the rest of you, but she’d definitely stop saving people after the three of us were out of the hypothetically-burning building.
She’s sort of a sociopath in that way.
But when you’re dealing with someone who has good cause to distrust the world, and good reason to be grumpy, being their 3rd favorite life-form is still pretty great– even if it means you’re the least favorite of the life-forms that she tolerates at all.
We have a solid relationship because of all our shared empathy, though I don’t know what to call it. It’s not quite the besotted love both of us feel for Dave. It’s not the friendship that either of us have with Flash.
But it’s something real, and something wonderful, and I am grateful that we found our way to each other– even if it’s just so I have someone to talk at, while we’re waiting for Dave.
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Perdita is the theme of my Vlog for April 5th. I asked her if she wanted to dedicate it to anyone, but she’s a grumpy little beast and basically said no.
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This post was brought to you by the letter E:
- Empathy
- Einfühlungsvermögen
- Emotional States
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Do your pets blame your computer for making you respond emotionally? Do they “help” you work the way Perdita helps Dave work? Do other people or pets notice that you’re sick before you do?
