Self Expression Magazine

Life Thus Far: an Overview

Posted on the 03 October 2018 by Lucyvictoria
It's that time of year again guys!! My favorite season..although, saying that, we've had such a gorgeous summer in the UK this year, that I haven't wanted Autumn to begin if I'm honest. The year has also massively whizzed by and I find it completely bewildering that it's October- am I alone in that? It's been a whirlwind, right!?
Life thus Far: an overviewAnyway, I reckoned that I haven't checked in with you all properly, and a lot has gone on, life wise [and plenty, not so much.] This post was actually going to be something quite different, but it's time for a lowdown...
Let's see....well, it's Autumn: the cosy, snuggly season, and I'm laughing to myself because, yes people, I'm still single. Now, don't think I'm like, overly upset about this. Just stating a fact. I've been “single” for a lonnng time now and it’s got me intrigued looking at relationships around me.. Do I miss a significant other, do I crave it, do I worry about finding “it”. Honestly; at times. (which is what dating is for) Then I look deeper at couples and can see the cracks and the neediness. Not everyone, but some. I like that I don’t need someone..I don’t need to depend on that someone. I see lots of people jump from 1 person to the next. Plain silly. It would be lovely to find a fella but I had the real deal once & it flawed me and now, I’ll only turn for the next real deal..

mental health *trigger warning* As mentioned above, I wanted to write a different post today- it was going to be related around CBT and how you can intertwine it yourself using self-care. Work-wise, life hasn't been kind to me this year. I feel like I've had inner struggles these last couple of months, whereby my thoughts turned negative and racing. My thought processes were all off.. my mind has definitely been focusing on if's, but's & cant's. I'm pretty much certain I've had a trade off of anxiety issues following my brain surgery in '04 and I've been vocal in my difficulties in the last few years, but I've managed to cope with self perseverance but lately I've felt, I don't know, inadequate. Unconfident in my abilities, comparing oneself and wondering if I'll hit the milestones I crave, or whether I'm just unworthy of life. As previously written, one of my dearest friend's committed suicide 5 years ago..I miss him every day & when a negative thought emerges, the universe makes me think of him & the great things I have achieved and to come. Keep your thoughts positive, because they manifest instantly into form, whatever the feeling; Focus only upon your desires and not upon your fears.
topsy-turvey life issues Over the past few weeks, my family's life have gone off quilter slightly. One of my older brother's was very sadly and fearfully, put into an induced coma. I don't wish to go into details and the reasons why and so forth, as it's unfair. It's been a struggle though for the whole family. He's pulled through but there's a long journey ahead for him and the outcome is uncertain at the mo. I just hope there's light at the end of the tunnel.
     However!! I am to become an auntie soon to twin boys...big gulp. It'll be the best birthday present for me ever, haha. Despite the rollercoaster we're all enduring, this is definitely a blessing, and I'm so pleased for my brother and sis-in-law. It'll be a busy few months ahead. New beginnings!

general life chit-chat I went away in July to South Cornwall which was stunning. I love the area anyway, but in the glorious sunshine it was so lovely. If you're a fan of the show Poldark, get yourself there. Charlestown is a must. Untouched and reeks of Aidan Turner ;-) haha. It was great to blow the cobwebs away and have gratitude for untouched beauty and the beauty in my own life, but reality does have a habit of stinging you back again! Last month, I've had to have my bloods taken several times, as I found out I suffer from B12 deficiency which has meant have a loading dose of 6 injections, so that's been fun (on 3 occasions, I became ill..) As my body cannot absorb the vitamin, I apparently had been living on empty essentially for a while. Stand by to hear of any cognitive, physiological & emotional improvements! Perhaps some of my "foggy head" symptoms will disappear.  
Life thus Far: an overviewLife thus Far: an overviewLife thus Far: an overview
So, lovely ones, that's the extent of the last few months for me. As noted, the weather here was simply beautiful so my getaway to Cornwall was pretty much idyllic. Thus said, I'm going to force myself to embrace Autumn. (I rarely have to say that!) This year, it feels particularly difficult...I'm not where I thought I'd be, and with the big C word approaching, well, I'm not ready for this year to end!! But whilst it's still here, I hope to bask in the sumptuous colours of Fall, rejuvenate oneself in salt water baths, indulge in guilt-free gingerbread & mince pies and spend priceless time with family & friends..
     Who'll join me on this journey...? Take care :-)

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