So I peruse a lot of blogs, including that of the ever fabulous Martha Stewart, and saw recently that Martha Stewart is trying out Match.com.
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I love Martha Stewart. From her fashion industry days to turning entertaining into an art form to turning her “Good Things” into a thriving business and brand, she’s been a major influence on the way I look at women in business and living the good life. You have to admit, she manages a powerhouse brand – nothing fazes her {yes, I’ll mention the jail time, but look – it did nothing!}.
Now she’s using social technology to work on her dating life, and I’m – I don’t know. “Fascinated,” I think, is a good word.
After publishing her latest book, “Living the Good Long Life,” she started thinking about how much a good relationship can enrich life, mood, and health, and started working to improve hers. I think it’s absolutely wonderful that she’s embraced the world of online dating and interactions to do it.
It makes sense for her in a lot of ways. For one, read her blog post on what kind of a “suitor” {seriously, I love that word} she’s looking for, and you’ll notice that a lot of her choice descriptors aren’t those of the type of people she usually meets. You don’t see “celebrity,” “high powered businessman,” or “marketing whiz” in there. You see someone low-key, willing to try and explore new things but not necessarily looking for the limelight.
More and more powerful women are turning to online dating purely because they don’t want to count on meeting the kind of person they need in their lives on an everyday basis, not when they’re surrounded by power brokers, celebrities, and more type-A personalities. A powerful woman wants a partner, not someone who is going to turn every decision into a “it’s you or me” fight, and every achievement into something that threatens them. Not. Fun. {Trust me, this was the common denominator of every failed relationship I had in the past – and this is what I fixed this time around!}.
It’s never a good situation when couples are keeping score, whether it’s who’s better at this skill, who makes more money, who does more of the chores, who’s not doing enough of the chores, who’s making more of the effort to arrange dates, and so forth. When careers come into that score-keeping, it can get downright dirty! So let me offer all my career-minded ladies out there a piece of advice, that thing I got wrong the first time but got right this time.
Marry a secure man. Marry a man who takes pride in you. Marry a friend and a partner.
If you’ve already got one of those, you know what a blessing this is. If you’re looking for one, there are lots of good places to look. But don’t limit yourself. Don’t write off the internet. Online dating, everything from Match.com to eHarmony to the upscale matchmakers, just expands the range of people you can meet, get to know, and keep in touch with. And Martha Stewart can sign on as Martha S. and meet that nice guy who really does want to get to know her and join her in the good things in life.
It’s a partnership, not a competition. Granted, there will be head-butting and arguments every now and then, but that’s life and that’s marriage. The fairy tale “happily ever after” doesn’t just show up on a platter after the wedding. You’ve got to live in it. But you want someone who will be working for those days together with you, not making it into some kind of competition.
I think what Martha Stewart is doing is seriously cool. I think none of us should be afraid to go looking for what will make us happy, for our good lives.
KCS
P.S. This post is not sponsored by Martha Stewart, MSL, or MSLO – I just think she’s awesome. Not that I’d turn down a call from MSLO if it ever came my way, but just so you know.
