I haven’t been married long enough to start doling out “secrets of happy marriage” yet – ask me again in 19 years or so! – but since I’ve been married one year, I think I’m entitled to share one big thing I’ve learned about marriage and life during this year, and it’s exactly that: thinking positively. Better phrased:
Being happy is a decision, and it takes work.
I promise, that’s really just one thing, but it’s a big one.
Being happy in anything – your life, your job, your marriage – is something you decide when you wake up in the morning and you keep deciding throughout the day. Sometimes, it doesn’t take a whole lot of work. Sometimes you wake up and it’s all sun and smiles, and making the decision to be happy and be in love really isn’t a decision since you’re in love with the world. We pay so little attention to those times because there’s no drama, but those are the times we should hold onto and cherish, the feelings we should remember because those are the feelings we need to chase after and remember during the other times.
Ah, yes, those other times. The work-was-frustrating-I-want-to-tear-someone’s-face-off times. The my-dress-doesn’t-fit-oh-my-god-I-feel-fat-we-can’t-go-out times. The there’s-a-hurricane-coming-no-one’s-going-to-come-to-the-wedding times. The there’s-a-tornado-watch-I-can’t-believe-I’m-going-to-miss-my-anniversary times. These are the ones we talk about because we’re mad, we’re frustrated, we’re sad, we’re despondent, and a lot of the time, we can’t think of a way to deal with them so we dwell on them.
There is a decision that lies in here, and we don’t always know it’s a decision. We make the decision to dwell on the other times instead of forcing ourselves to think positively and get something done. Sometimes it takes a while for that epiphany to creep its way in, but there’s usually a point when we’re feeling miserable where some part of us realizes, “It is absolutely, utterly ridiculous to feel this way.” Sure, there’s a small part of us that wishes we could throw ourselves on the floor and have a good old tantrum, but that’s one of the things about being a grown up. Not only does no one care that you’re having a tantrum, you’ll alienate anyone who might have been able to help you {this should be posted at airline service counters}. The smartest thing we can do is fast-forward ourselves past the tantrum to the point where we’re picking ourselves up and doing something about the situation.
This is not always easy. Happiness must be earned. But you start earning it by taking a deep breath. The only way your life is going to get better is if you decide to do something about it. Decide to do something. Decide to put a smile on your face. Did you know that by making yourself smile, even though it feels silly, you actually trick your brain into thinking that you’re happy? Once you’re feeling better, go find the source of your problem and kick its butt.
I think part of the reason this year flew by so insanely fast is that, aside from being busy, Scott and I both approached our relationship as something we were willing to do some work to take care of, and approached happiness as something that we were willing to work for. We’re both pretty easy going people, but Lord knows there are days where both of us are more work than others! Lucky for us, we’ve got a lot to smile about and we’re good at reminding each other of that – even when one of us is stranded in Richmond and then in Charlotte due to some pretty nasty weather delays and an impending tornado!
That being said, after facing down the weather, negotiating my way off and on several diverted flights until I managed to get down to Orlando only a couple hours late thanks to the power of positive thinking and some really nice airline representatives, our anniversary this weekend was awesome! We spent it “camping out” at Disney’s Wilderness Lodge on Lake Buena Vista! Even though it’s just around the corner from the Magic Kingdom, it’s surrounded by woods and wildlife, and you really feel like you’re off the beaten path…but still managed to take a lot of little luxuries with you!
We really felt spoiled! Our friends had sent anniversary gifts and goodies to our room, and even the staff at Whispering Canyon Cafe gifted us with celebratory mimosas the next morning!
Either my husband read my mind or my hints were a lot less subtle than I thought, because I’d been hoping for a chance to stay at this particular resort – just the two of us, staying in the villas at a resort that was tip-top in terms of Disney quality, but far removed from the parks and the other resorts. I’m in love with the rustic design and decor of the lodge itself and its grounds. The Florida wilderness has just been allowed to grow right up to the hotel, but it’s so nicely blended with the surrounding landscaping. We got a great view of all this during our horseback ride from the Disney stables and spending the afternoon lounging around the pool!
And yes, those were two of the main reasons I’ve been wanting to visit the Wilderness Lodge. You might vaguely remember I was going to organize a horseback ride during our week of wedding adventures, but this wench Debbie crashed the party and, well, no one wants to ride in a hurricane. At least this time we got to check out the Tri-Circle-D Ranch and meet some of the wonderful horses. Did you know you can actually adopt Disney horses? We know where we’re going to come if my dreams of eventually getting a couple of acres down in Florida come to fruition. I would so love to have horses again!
After we got cleaned up, there was a lot of lounging around – and in – the pool.
Then we dressed up and headed to dinner at Artist Point. Ohhhh, Artist Point. I could do a whole separate Restauranting post on Artist Point. I just might, because we’re taking my in-laws out there over the Fourth of July weekend. Let me just say for now that the food was fabulous. I wish I’d taken the time to take better pictures!
All in all, it was a wonderful trip, but I could have definitely ruined it for myself if I’d let the weather get to me or if I hadn’t let my husband tease me out of my funk when I was certain I’d get stranded in Charlotte. Whatever happened with the weather, we’d make things work out. It just so happened that we got really lucky.
So the moral of the story is a long one: Weather happens, including hurricanes that threaten to swamp your wedding and tornadoes that threaten to swamp your anniversary. Bad days happen. Sometimes, really bad things happen. Sometimes, you can’t do a damn thing to stop these things from happening. But you can do something with what comes after. Whether you’re dealing with little struggles or big ones, there are a lot of amazing things to love about this life. Be positive. And smile. 
KCS
P.S. If you missed all the wedding craziness from last year, you can find pretty much all of it linked up to the Wedding: Planning Phase page, the Wedding page, and the Wedding Photo Album. Enjoy!
