Welcome to my site. You may want to check out my book, "Kill Me Now!". Thanks for visiting!
My friends are great or are they?
I have been dating a delightful woman for a few months and the pressure was mounting, from her family , for a commitment. I can stand pressure, I am OK with pressure, but what commitment do they want? I understand, they want me to live with Sharon. No problem.
I guess I was wrong, that is not what they were referring to. I can still hear their yells through the telephone from the other side of the apartment when they were talking to Sharon. Sharon gets off the phone and came to me and said “Do you want to marry me?” This is really not the way I thought it would be. Should she not have got down on one knee and given me a ring? Or should I be the one doing the asking? Who knows what goes in this day and age? Who knows if I wasn’t dreaming?
Bruce
BruceSo, I ran to a friend of mine, Bruce, and on the third beer he turned to me and said, “Bigfoot, my mate, you need to get married.” Say what, Bruce is always unhappy and he runs away from his wife and tells me that I need to get married? Bruce continued, “Yes mate, you are far too happy. It is not right to be so happy. You need to get married and be grumpy like me.” Hmmm, what is he trying to say to me? Is he trying to convince me to get married? I guess so.
Ed
I met up with Ed. You remember Ed? The guy from my book, the one with the sliver bullet? I looked at Ed and I said, “Ed, I am thinking of getting married.” Ed looked at me and said, “You are like a fly flying into the light. You know what you are doing but you are doing it anyway. No worries, I will solve all your problems for you.” He said this while loading two silver bullets into his pistol. “First, I am going to blow my brains out and then I will blow your brains out.” Logic says that if he blows his brains out, he will not be able to blow mine out afterwards, but seeing as how I have never tried it, I do not know. I think he was merely trying to convince me to get married.
Sharon
One night in bed, Sharon looks over at me and steals my blanket from me. Sharon sleeps with two blankets and a duvet and a BigFoot. I asked her why she was taking my only bedcover. “Lawrence, my love, for five decades you have had no one to bug you. No one to steal your covers, your side of the bed, your pillows. Things change! Get used to it!”
So I guess I am getting married. Maybe I can write a sequel, “Killing Me Softly”. Hmmm, the sofa looks very inviting.
