Beeeep Beeep!! Beeeep Beeep!! Beeeep Beeep!! Beeeep Beeep!! Beeeep Beeep!!…..
The sound of his alarm clock with low battery wakes him up. He turns to the clock by his side 6.30am; he says to himself “make i sleep for anoda five minutes joor”. He turns back and steals another five minutes of sleep. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!! The sound of his generator wakes him up and he turns to the clock again 8.50am… yeah right “na ur five minutes be that abi?”
He exclaims “YEEEHH!!!… I go late today oh” as if that is not his norm. He sluggishly gets up and barely takes a good shower and off he goes 9.30am; he leaves the house. He calls the office… “Ojo how far? Dem don lock gate? Oga dey find me?” Abeg tell dem say my boy dey cough… I dey carry am go hospital.
He finally arrives the office… he greets the security man at the gate… Garba.. Ina kwana? Garba responds to him. He takes a quick glance at his watch again 10.15am… he sighs “I don late again”.
He opens the door to the office and a sticker at the top of the door printed boldly said “ITS BETTER TO BE LATE, THAN BE LATE”… how much he loved that sticker… he smiled to himself.
Confidence oozing and a bit of local swagger, he steps into the office… the perpetual late comer he is and he finds his way to his desk. He quickly turns on his “SONI” transistor radio that has a wire tied to the antennae for better reception to keep abreast of the local football league game broadcast on the radio that he was listening to. He moves to open the rusted louvers of his windows because the old Binatone fan was blowing hot and dusty air.
On his table a sticker saying “THANK GOD NA FRIDAY” a caricature of the popular “THANK GOD ITS FRIDAY” made him beam with smiles and satisfaction as he looks forward to the end of the day.
He grabs the old newspaper on his desk and the headline gets him laughing boisterously.. “Man caught making love to a goat”… he asked himself “Woman no dey again abi?”. Suddenly, his boss passes by swiftly and this gets him standing immediately… “Welcome sah!!!” he yells at the top of his voice… “How are you?” his boss responded… “Fine sah” he replied.
He looked at his time again 10.15am “Haba!! Today slow sha” as if he had being in the office for hours. He moves to the other cubicle to greet Ojo his friend… “Ojo how far na? Oga reach office before me?”… “Shebi you tell am say my boy dey cough seriously?” Ojo responds in the affirmative.
He looks at his “Omegah” wrist watch again… 10.15am “Haba!!!.. He exclaims again… Today slow sha” not knowing that the battery of his watch had died when he got to the office.
He goes to the secretary’s desk and greets her “Caro baby, how na?” She responds… “I dey oh.. We thank God”. He asks her “Oga dey inside office or E don comot?”.. He gets the answer he wanted; their boss was out for a meeting. On Caro’s table was a sticker that says “MAN MUST WACK”.. As if directly speaking to him, something stirs up in his abdominal region and he remembers that he had not taken breakfast at all.
He tells Caro that he wants to go and eat and he will be back soon… and off he goes.. informing everyone and anyone that cared to know “I dey go chop.. I dey come”. On his way out he says to himself “Friday na half day now” as he approaches the gate he tells Garba “I don close oh!!”
Garba wishes him a happy weekend ahead hoping that he would shake his body and something would drop for boys for the weekend… He gets snubbed as usual and Garba murmurs in irritation “Sonkai Akuya”…..
