Diaries Magazine

No Unattended Baggage!

Posted on the 27 January 2015 by #hartchronicles @jewelsjaye

Is it me or is my husband the most wonderful and absolutely ridiculous human being on earth?

Instead of sending me flowers at work, he goes the extra mile to say “I’m thinking of you!” Which is great in theory … Until you’re contemplating filing a police report!

Yes, most men send flowers! But not my husband… he makes arrangements to leave an open package (a gift bag of my favorite things) hanging (outside) on the door of our home! …He’s got people.


Doesn’t he know we’re in wartime? You can’t just leave unattended bags lying around! I digress.

Is it sweet? –Yes!

Is it also terrifying? –YES!

Initially (like for a split nanosecond) I smile and think– maybe the hubs is home and ready to jump out from behind a bush to surprise/scare me half to death! He has been known to “surprise me” while sitting in a dark room, typing! –it’s a long story.

Again, that’s short lived as I remember that I just spoke with him and he’s definitely not here.

So, at this point with full knowledge that the hubs is NOT currently in the state, gestures like this lead me to believe there’s a creeper lurking in the shadows who …

A) knows my work schedule, and
B) is waiting for me to get home, watching from a safe distance

…and I kinda’ panic!

With that, there’s nothing left to do but nervously look over your shoulder, clutch your purse, wish you had a taser, and freak out! —Oh, until the hubs calls 2 seconds into your panic-stricken state and casually asks, “Did you get your gift?”

It’s the thought that counts… I guess!


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