If I was the bartender last night, this is a small sample of what I might overhear on any given night:
You have never watched Star Wars? I don’t believe you. I can’t even process that. “I had no interest in it. Han Solo is the reason men think they can act the way they do. Who says “I know” after someone says “I love you”… So, Yoda is the most awesome wise, uh, creature ever. He is like the Buddha of tiny men. “He was creepy. Who talks backwards? He was special.” When 900 years old you are, look as good you will not. What about Jabba the Hutt? “Oh, you mean the slug thing?” Yes, and Salacious Crumb. “Who was that?” Sigh. You know, right before everyone gets thrown into the mouth of the Sarlacc, he is with Jabba.
Bartender: How can you remember all this stuff? How can you not? “She is a nerd. A closet D & D playing geek.” Bring it. There’s no closet involved. I have to watch a movie with some swords. And let’s not forget about the Lord of the Rings. Those men were hot in that movie. Legolas…yummy. “Who was that?” Sighhhh. Orlando Bloom’s character. Really??? And Viggo Mortensen. Oh wait, you don’t know him either. He played Aragorn. Nevermind. I’m sure you at least thought Johnny Depp was hot as a pirate. “I don’t like dirty men and I don’t need any man who is going to compete with me over counter space for make-up products.” Hmmm, you have a point there. He might use your eye-liner, but he was still a great pirate…dirty or not.
And that my friends is how you eavesdrop on a perfectly good conversation involving fictional men. Tune in next week for random topic Tuesday and see what I have in store for you then. You never know what I have planned because quite frankly, neither do I. Let’s see who gets the last laugh:
“If there’s any message to my work, it is ultimately that it’s OK to be different, that it’s good to be different, that we should question ourselves before we pass judgment on someone who looks different, behaves different, talks different, is a different color.” ~Johnny Depp
