You know when you were a kid and you pretended to like something because everyone else did?
…wait a second…
Let me rephrase that, remember the first time you did that?
Mine was Surge. Yes, Surge that 90’s concoction that had all the kids screaming, mostly as the only release for the insane amount of sugar coursing through their veins.
I hated it. When my school put a moratorium on kids bringing the sugar bombs in for birthday treats, I moaned my disapproval along with the other kids, but I was pleased. When a few years later, Coke pulled the plug altogether, I grieved along with my generation in public, while privately dancing on its grave. Good riddance, you disgusting excuse for a beverage.
Now, as the millennials yearn for the things of yester-90’s, I’ve more than once heard a peer yearn for the chance to once again enjoy that unnatural flavor of the 90’s, but I can’t pretend to feel the same any longer.
That wave of nostalgia for the culture of our youth, has resurrected the wretched monster.
I’d like to nominate just about anything else to take its place. Pogs perhaps? How about those creepy Trolls? Or maybe those slap bracelets, that served as fashionable accessories and weapons with which to torture your more academically focused classmates.
But thanks Coca Cola for bringing back this classic, because if there’s one thing our society needs right now, it’s an over-caffeinated, over-sugared, Mountain Dew competitor…
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TIME: Coca-Cola Is Bringing Back SURGE
…bi-daily smile…
Speaking of the 90’s revived…it’ll never be the same, but a valiant effort Disney:
