Self Expression Magazine

So, How Did It All Go Down?

Posted on the 16 September 2013 by Raina

Anyone would think that everything is going fine, after reading self-inspirational post “Defeating my biggest enemy ever” (find it here), and meeting my pastor (find it here). It was not. I became a zombie two days before my move. I stayed up all night playing my favorite game “Borderlands” on X-box 360 and watching a show at the same time. I could not/ did not want to sleep. As I said before I wanted to cancel my ticket and just stay home.

The day before my flight “D” offered to stay home from work as I looked pathetic. I said I will be fine, and I can manage, but he insisted. I realized that maybe I am not as strong as I want to be and so, he stayed home. We were supposed to go get groceries and make some food for “D,” but I was very tired and slept all day long. I wanted to make some food and freeze it so; D can have food for at least 15 days. This would give him time to get used to managing without me.

I woke up in the evening, and we went to the grocery store. “D” only wanted me to make Egg plant (Brinjal), and Cauliflower curries because it was 8 PM already. Those are his favorites at the moment. He loves to eat them with Kichiya papad. He thinks that these varieties of papads are magic because they increase in size as soon as we drop into oil. On a totally different note, we think that we should have a stall in our county fair next year to sell papads, just for fun. I was very angry at myself that for two days now I could have cooked a whole lot of dishes if I was not worried about leaving.

We came home D, and I started cooking. We had the Egg plant, Cauliflower, and Tomato curries all going within 45 minutes. I started to feel better. I realized that there was another burner I could use to cook something else. I asked “D” if he wanted me to boil spaghetti, and he said, “you don’t have to. I can do that later.” I insisted because boiling spaghetti is not hard work, and he will have something to eat for one of those days when he is really tired. I went ahead and boiled spaghetti. I could feel a sense of peace. I was on a roll, and then I said I would make my famous Indo-Chinese fusion noodles. “D” and most of his family loves this dish. He gave a green light, and so I started making noodles as soon as I was done with Egg plant curry.

“D” now started to worry if we had enough boxes, and if we had ample space in our freezer for all this food. Our freezer was kind of full already though we moved some of our freezer food to a friend’s freezer. I was not worried because men always think there is not enough space. :) I figured that if all the food did not fit in, we can still use the friend’s freezer to store the food and D can go there once in a while to get the food. I saw frozen chicken and fish in the fridge and thought if I cook them; we will have extra space in the freezer and “D” will have more food.

It made me so excited because all it takes is one more hour of my time. By this time, I did not even start packing, but I decided I would stay up all night if need be. After all, who needs sleep. I put “D” in charge of boxing and labeling the food. He made one-two serving containers for convenience, and we started to fill the freezer. The good news is these small containers were not taking as much space as we expected, and we could even stack them up.

I was so happy because that meant I could do more dishes. :) I did not even bother to ask “D” if he wants me to cook chicken and fish, because I know he would say no. I put the chicken in slow cooker to make barbecue shredded chicken, and it cooked until next-day evening. “D” ate it after he went home from the airport, and he loved it. After I started the chicken in the slow cooker, I made fish curry that took one more hour. We were all done by 2 AM in the night. We started at 10 PM, and we took four hours for seven dishes. I was extremely pleased, and guilt free. It was relieving after all the anxiety I suffered for the last week. I guess not being able to be there to help “D” when he needed the most might have been the main reason for my anxiety. I think we froze enough food that would last “D” at least 25 days and there are many varieties, so he will not get bored. “D” was impressed with what we accomplished, and I was very proud of our team.

My mother always says that it’s nice to know how to do household work even if you are career oriented because that will come handy when needed. Though, she never taught us, me and my brother learned by observing her.

I still had to pack so, I asked “D” to go to bed because he has to drive the next day. I stayed up for another two hours and finished my packing. I went to bed 4 AM in the morning feeling so relieved and ready for the following day. I, no longer felt like I want to run to a corner or cancel my tickets.

It surprises me how sometimes we cannot understand what is actually bothering us? I guess the thought that my man will eat frozen pizzas’ living in a home all by himself (lonely) bothered me so much. After all, he is my delicate darling. If I could have known that this is the reason for my anxiety, I could have cooked a lot more food to last him until thanks giving.

The next day morning we woke up and started for the airport at around 1PM. We both got enough sleep too. I did not cry, and I told “D” I was really happy. He was pleased that I am not crying anymore and said that it killed him to see me cry. :) We stopped by the Indian store and got him some Kichiya papad.

We reached airport and checked in and still had some time to spare before the security check. We sat there and took some pictures, and I told him not to make it sound like I was going away forever. I wanted us to feel that I was going on a short trip, and we can visit each other any time we want. After all, the flight was only 50 minutes, and it costs anywhere between $100-250 (depending on when we book the tickets). It is not bad except “D” has school every day. We bid our final good-bye, and I cleared security check. I boarded the flight and soon we were ready for take-off.

The flight started to accelerate slowly, and soon front wheels were off the ground. I was sitting in a window seat and looking outside my window. The moment when the front wheels lifted off the ground, I saw the flight’s acute upward inclination, and it dawned on me that am leaving and there is no going back now. I am leaving D, D’s family, my state and everything I ever knew since I landed in US 5 years back. I felt tears coming out of my eyes. The next moment I pictured acute downward inclination of the flight with the ground and the front wheels first touching the ground. I was imagining the day I will come back to the same airport and how happy would that make me to see the downward inclination. We were soon in the mid-air, and air hostess stopped by to ask what complimentary drink I would like. :)

This is how it all went down. Coming up next what happened after I landed at my brother’s place?


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