So I Married a Human Clone to Fight Time Travel.

I fully expect this post to disappear.

It started when I was in the 6th grade and wrote an essay on the plausibility of time travel, including some reviews of the more complicated math involved in many of the basic arguments against it. The paper was graded and mysteriously lost.

Later, in college physics, I wrote another paper– this time with detailed notes and calculations. My teacher, a notorious Newtonian, declared it to be unsuitable and mailed it to my student mailbox.

Hours later, the mailbox and its contents were washed into the ocean by a violent storm.

I rushed to his office to see if he had a copy, since I did not. He asked why I was so upset about it and I explained that I saved every paper I had ever written, regardless of grade or topic.

This was only the second paper I had ever lost.

ithinknot

Years later, I began work on a time travel machine for an art show. I wanted the feeling of real science and true math, so I began work on real calculations again. In my normal method of study, I ended up with files upon files. I even reached out to local professors for assistance with the more complex science.

One such professor was sitting beside me, sipping his cappuccino and denouncing the merits of time travel. He theorized that, if time travel were to exist, no doubt we could only move forward. He suggested that this in itself would cause many problems and that great minds should be working towards fusion energies and outreach sciences instead.

wormhole He went so far as to posit that we would have to develop a way to send someone back in time to undo the creation of time travel, if someone did manage to unravel the mystery.

We chewed on homemade biscotti and the problem of backwards time travel for a bit– considering what science would be needed to sustain such a possibility. We drafted theories for travelers who were human clones who didn’t previously exist, so as to avoid tangling time lines.

And then the power went out.

My computer, protected by three back ups and two surge protectors, completely fried. I was able to retrieve all the information, music, and pictures– but none of my time travel CAD files or calculations.

Clearly, someone or something was out to trample my time travel efforts.

crackintime

Since I had no real desire to invent time travel, I moved along and didn’t think anything of it until my fourth date with Dave. In a roundabout conversation, I was explaining to him how the universe was out to stop time travel– and he put his hand out and suggested maybe I should stop messing with it.

This was an incredibly suspicious reaction from Dave, so I asked him straight out:

Were you sent back in time to stop my work on time travel?

And he said no, which of course is what anyone who was sent back in time to stop the invention of time travel would say. To this day, he refuses to discuss the possibility and shifts the subject whenever anyone around me brings it up.

He says it’s because I weird people out…

but isn’t that exactly what someone who was sent back in time to stop the invention of time travel would say?

In the end, reason wins out.

Obviously, if time travel causes so much grief that these types of drastic steps are necessary, it’s best for me to leave well enough alone.

Just in case,though– if Whovian science is correct, and if my invention of time travel happens to be one of those unavoidable fixed points in time– I’d like to apologize in advance for whatever hardships manifest from my mathematics.

Please remember that my husband tried his level best and that he was a good man, human clone or not.