It never fails. You are out and about, and someone tries to stop and talk to you. They think you are “better” and therefore are well now. The truth about chronic illness is that most people in your life will NEVER EVER understand what you are going through UNLESS they happen to have a chronic illness too. Here is something I found that expresses how I feel. The blog is aptly titled Not Done Living. The letter is An Open Letter to Those Without Invisible Disability.
If people would leave me alone, and I’m just being honest, and stop telling me that something wonderful is coming along for me, I would very much appreciate it. If people would stop telling me that God has other things planned, I would also appreciate it. It’s not that I’m not Christian. I am. There are times God and I do not see eye to eye. I get that. HE gets that. HE even understands my need to use cuss words. HE is a big boy. I don’t understand why people are always surprised when I mention that I talk to HIM on a regular basis. We are fine. It is like being mad at your parents. Spirituality for me is quite different from that of my relatives. I do not feel the need to go to church. I am just being honest. It does not mean that I don’t pray. It does not mean I am a heathen, contrary to popular belief of some people in the South, who I might be related to.
If you happen to be one of those family members, yes, I’m mad right now. It does not mean that I will stay in a perpetual state of “madness”, ha, forever. It means there is no one else who is going to be able to fight this battle for me right now. It also means I have come to the conclusion that no one has a magical “cure” for me. Sending me 50 million passages from the Bible right now is NOT what I need. No offense. I have 3 or 4 Bibles and you gave me most of them. It comes across as if you are trying to “fix” me, and I realize it is not what you probably intended, but people in pain need to find their own way out of that. You are all missing the point. Pray silently for me if you must, but healing means something different to everyone. My spirituality is fine right now. I promise.
