Spring is here and so comes all the spring ailments. Sneezing from the dust, pollen and dare I say it “Spring Cleaning”. Everywhere you turn, people are cleaning for spring. Why can they not clean all year round still manages to baffle my mind. People come to work with hands smelling like bleach or lemons depending on the additive they used. Read my book for what happens when trying to date while people are “spring cleaning”.
I managed to go on a date with a lady in between her cleaning bouts and she was yawning constantly either because she was tired from cleaning or because my company was boring. I will give myself the benefit of the doubt and say she was tired. However she had this story to tell.
Cassandra had setup a first date with Joe, a blind date. You already know what I feel about blind dates. Nonetheless she agreed to meet Joe, this being a blind date, they had never seen one another or their pictures. Forget Smartphones, Facebook, Pinterest, LinkedIn, or an online dating service, totally blind.
Joe pitched up to the meeting with “cold sores” around his mouth area. What are cold sores, you ask? Well don’t! Oral Herpes is ugly and remains for ages. It is not Joe’s fault but maybe it would have been better if Cassandra was blind as she was having a rough time taking her eyes off his mouth. Sounds sensuous? NOT!
Joe had arranged for a table at a restaurant in a hotel. Perfectly natural and they sat down. it turned out that Joe also had a room there. Is that not a warning signal? Maybe my Devil should chat with your Devil?
But Cassandra’s eyes were fixated on Joe’s mouth. Seeing this Joe opened his mouth to smile at her. “Mistake, big mistake!” There was a piece of parsley stuck between his teeth. Something else for Cassandra to focus her eyes on.
Looking at the menu Cassandra could not find anything appealing and just ordered coffee while Joe ordered a pasta dish. Then the phone went. Joe spent the next half an hour on the phone totally oblivious to his date, not even noticing that she was not eating, nor the fact that there was smoke coming out of her ears and that her blonde hair had turned flaming red. She could have got up and left and little Joe would not have known. Oh Cassandra, why did you not leave? Still mesmerized by Joe’s mouth? Listen to my Devil next time. I don’t, so at least you should. The little whisper in the back of your head should be saying this is not NORmaaal.
Finishing up his meal, Joe said “Would you like to have drinks upstairs?” Cassandra’s mouth dropped. WTF? This guy had totally ignored her throughout the date and he wanted to go upstairs? Cassy, before you blow your cool, maybe the bar is upstairs and not his bedroom?
She got up to leave and he came up to her and tried to kiss her. “Ewwww,” Cassandra said. For extra effect, she said “Ewwww” louder, took her bag and left the hotel.
I wonder if she will go out with him again.
