The Movie

There are three kinds of people in the movie making business, One who believe in Werner Herzog theory  of  “Read, read, read, read, read, read, read, read, read, read, read, read, read…if you don’t read, you will never be a filmmaker”, Second are those who believe in what Jean-Luc Godard said  “All you need to make a movie is a girl and a gun.”   and third are the people who believe that movie making business is all about how much one can afford. Nothing else matters, not the story, nor the cast, neither the purpose, nothing else. if you need just three people but can afford a thousand, I say take them and this applies to every aspect of film making. keeping the third theory in mind I have come up with an excellent blockbuster movie plan. The  movie right now is on papers and nothing is finalized not even the name but I know it is going to be a big block buster and so will you when you see my plan. The reason I am sharing my ideas with you today is that I need finance which I am sure you will provide when you see what a great movie I have scripted. So without much ado I present to you THE MOVIE As I have mentioned in the pic, main lead 1(some newbie) will die, but not before he comes to know that his father is not his real father, a detective tells him so. Mean while real father for whom life till now was nothing but happy hours will be tearing his hair in frustration. Grandpa who will come to know of this secret will spread the news cos he is old and has a weak bladder, but later regret( of course).There will be two guys, the neighbour who will laugh at this news because the main lead used to park his vehicle in this man’s parking area and also because this is what villains do and another ( happy man ) will laugh at this news but later be fired and he will be all- I want to kill the main lead( second villain).  Then there will be an ass ho73 who will be here for no reason other than the fact that he is an assho73. Japanese guy , Yo guy  and the Guy in the hospital will provide much needed comic relief. Then a man will die in pool while the other won’t , all of this will be seen and taped by a mysterious man and someone will lose his marbles. OK so as explained in the pic, lot of people will die and the gardener will be one of the main villains cos she used to work in an office but was fired cos she was too hot, so too avenge her humiliation she now wears ‘hardly anything’  and works as a gardener in the person’s house who got her fired, but the person doesn’t recognize her cos she now hardly wears anything. also there will  be a hot girl trying to touch her toes ( a tribute to yoga) every now and then and a hot yogini who will kill the girl cos she was killing her business. Then there will be grandma who will be too happy that grandpa spilled the news and now she can finally divorce him. And the gossip girl will tell the neighbours that the main lead’s ( actress in lead role)  father in law is not the real one and the real one doesn’t want to be any part of this family and the neighbor will then come to the main lead’s house and laugh and say told ya and die. And then there will be a dog ( not in the pic, idea hit me just now) who will kill all the villains and recognize his master who after third plastic surgery looks much better but can not see, hear or speak. Note- there will be 13 songs, two with the ‘hardly wearing anything’ gardener and three with hot yoginis and the fight sequence between hot yogini and the girl trying to touch toes will be, once a hit,now forgotten dance form called The Snake Dance. also there will be a song where the dog will emote the lines through his eyes and the people of the island will cry and try to fix the plane and carve a tunnel in the mountain with bare hands and eat rotting bodies. Rest of the songs will be wherever we can put them wish you all a great week ahead and those who wish to sponsor kindly mail me at matasoma@emptypoket.com or call 1800-whose-spleen-is-that.  This post is protected by voodoo spells.