I ended up sleeping away my Sunday because my back was injured. I’m not sure why or how, but I know that I can’t bow my head, or rest it on my shoulder without my neck/back pain going mission critical.
The thing is– I have no idea how this happened.
Luckily, I’ve had some time to think it over and I’ve come up with a few really plausible possibilities.
Theory 1: Sleep Ninja-ing
I imagine myself as Mona Lisa, the mutant salamander girl ninja with a propensity towards spontaneous huggings.
It’s possible that I’ve started sleep ninja-ing. The lights go out, I lie down to sleep– and then while in a dreamstate, I wake up and prowl the night, looking for people who need me to unleash my ninja power upon them.
Perhaps all those high kicks and chops pulled a muscle that didn’t want to be pulled?
Theory 2: Curse
Not all curses come from folk who look like this. A girl’s gotta be careful.
A woman came into my place of business recently and complimented my neck. Maybe what started as a kind thought morphed into angry neck-jealousy, and resulted in an afterthought hexing?
Theory 3: Robot
It’s possible that I’m a robot and my parts are malfunctioning! I wonder if I’m still under warranty?
Theory 4: Future Me
Maybe one of those time traveling clones that is always interfering with my life came back in time to give me neck/back pain in order to prevent something truly horrible. Perhaps, because I have such pain, I’ll shift my normal plans enough to avert worldly disaster.
Theory 5: Neck Slug
Like a brain slug, except with more claws.
I could have an entirely invisible parasite clinging to the outside of my body, claws embedded deep into my neck and back. I think I could actually test this theory by ramming myself backwards against a wall, but Dave doesn’t approve of my plan.
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Well, that’s all I have in terms of theories.
Which do you think is more likely? Do you ever get mystery pain?
