I’ve decided to take a little journey through the untitled lists in my drafts folder. I don’t remember if these were inspired by something I read, or just something I assembled in the early mornings before coffee– or late at night after too much coffee.
At least now they have a home in their very own post.
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- I’m exceptionally good with buttons.
I have no idea what this means, but I’m enjoying the singularity and positivity of the list. As of today, I probably wouldn’t go to the extreme of saying I am exceptionally good with buttons, but I’m certainly not bad.
- I’ll engage in all sorts of strange behavior in order to avoid putting my hand in a bag of food, like potato chips.
This is true. I have no idea what this list was supposed to be all about, either. It could be “How I Weird People Out” or perhaps “Stuff that Makes Me Cranky”, or “How I Deal with My Pet Peeves”?
- the dirt that settles on cars
- kinetic energy
- blue dye
- untrained dogs
- subliminal messages
- body hosts
- glue & other things which leave sticky residues like bumper stickers
- idiots with guns
- idiots without guns
- smart people with fan clubs
- deterioration
- misdirection
- starting a fight
- secret & obvious recordings
- truth
- loud sounds
- gremlins, the hulk, Tila
- murder novels
- transparent electronic devices
- cancer
- blindness
- surprises
- spontaneity
- dirty sand. clean sand. same thing.
- the first two months of a new car
- the 10 mile radius around my home, wherever it may be
- coyotes (they eat kittens!)
- bunnies
- helicopters and other things that blow up when you shoot them in a certain place
- tempers
- coughing fits
- dentists and chiropractors
- covered parking garages
- coffee in movie theatres
- stealing & theft
- maple trees, palm trees
- mosquitos, ants, and bugs I don’t know
- symptoms
- panty lines
- back-fat from bra lines
- combining chemicals
- combining medicines
- emergencies that occur during moments of nudity
- suffocating
- smelling flowers
- making a difference
- not making a difference
- throwing things away
- reality television
- music that people listen to without really listening to
- elevators
- escalators
- bad impulses
- sidekicks
- clowns
- alternate realities
- time travel
- voodoo
- lapses in judgement
- giving or getting bad presents
- speakers
- fans
- air ducts
- ammonia
- amnesia
- barns
- miscalculations
- nail polish remover
- a bird in my home
- a broom left standing
- poseidon
- events that require scratchy clothes
- small spaces
- falling
- bridges
- portals (into parallel universes)
- power shortages
- brain washing
- dead plants
- being questioned on things I should but don’t know off the top of my head: like left vs right, the metric system, and military time
- perfectly even stones
- contaminated water
- waxing
- fish with teeth
- dressing inappropriately
- amputation
This list is obvious: “Stuff that Is Terrifying”. I couldn’t even read through it without panicking, so I have no idea how I wrote it in the first place.
- death
- public speaking
- being in a fight
- needles
- bears
- airplanes
- food poisoning
- the CIA
- depending on others for safety
- having others depending on me for their safety
- blank pages
- being fooled
- the dark
- the incorrect healing of bones
- confusion
- muppets
- spiders, cockroaches
- heights
- tunnels
- acupuncture
- storms
This list is also obvious. It’s stuff that (perhaps surprisingly) isn’t scary to me at all.
- Follow it up with Free Ice Cream
- Deliver it in the form of a catchy pop song
- Deliver it via Adorable Puppets
“Ways to Make Bad News Better”?
- Don’t marry someone you don’t like.
- Try to be awake in the morning, at least half the time
- Trust your gut.
Um. “Good Advice”?
- Dress them up and have a quarter puppet show.
- Turn them into dimes and make a list of things to do with dimes.
- Stack them up and make a tower. Pretend you’re godzilla and stand on it.
- Give them to me.
- Go to an arcade
- Pay for random car meters
- Do laundry… lots of it
- Tape them to your body and trick-or-treat all year long
- Buy lots of gumballs. String them together and sell them as jewelry.
- Melt them down and make a sword.
- Give to the homeless
“11 Things To Do If You Have A Lot of Quarters”?
- The lady who calls for her partner in busy places by saying “honey!” as if that in any way could indicate her specific partner.
- The person who orders a plate of bacon, but asks for a diet coke and to hold the fries.
- The piqued geek– as in, “Actually, that was Episode 3.” or “Frodo isn’t a Jedi. Ahhh!”
“People I Didn’t Understand Before I Became Them”.
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And there we have it. I clearly have a list addiction.
How often do you make lists? What’s in your drafts folder?
