To be or not to be. Isn't that what we have all learnt? There are 2 roads, 2 kinds of people, 2 genders, day and night, black and white, heaven and hell. Everything is mainly labeled into one of two categories that are of opposite, discernible nature. Our emotions are either good ones or bad ones. You either love or hate and each and every other emotion belongs to one of the two main categories. Good guys and bad guys. Clean and dirty. Bright and somber. And the list goes on and on—and on. But here's a hypothesis, there are 3 kinds of people: winners, losers, and addicts. What sets us apart from animals is the simple notion of a free will and a discerning mind, period. We are accountable for our behaviors because we can control our behaviors. Why do some of us confidently pinpoint others as losers? Because we believe they had a choice and chose not to choose what should have been chosen. Yea, that's a mind twister, isn't it? As a result, life is simply divided into a population of winners and losers. But, what is an addict? An addiction is commonly defined as an escalating and a persistent pattern of behavior acted out regardless of negative consequences to self and others. Addictions vary in type. There are substance addictions such as drug addictions and behavioral addictions such as food, porn, and gambling addictions. Commonly, an addiction is known to severely affect brain regions that govern impulse control, decision-making and consequences foreseeing and evaluation. So, basically, the mere function that is, in the first place, responsible for our accountability is tampered with in the context of an addiction that is affecting an individual's life. Many fail to look at addicts with compassion because ignorance breeds fear which, eventually, breeds hate. And as addicts and the concept of addiction are highly misunderstood, we shove addicts into the category of losers to live peacefully, simple-minded, burdens-free. That isn't the case, however. Life is more complicated than you could possibly think. Let me start shaking what you might believe as truisms.
Nurture vs. nature. The good, old debate that you could never, ever-and I challenge you- decide up in a completely certain manner. What is the extent of our external environment's influence on us? Is a will of iron in a counterproductive environment is enough? Can you meditate in a distracting environment? Can you breathe normally in a stressful situation? In what direction does the scale tip? Individualistic efforts or an assisting environment? This debate benefits the notion of addiction and the extent to which it interferes with self-control as it represents an external, counterproductive factor that greatly affects the addict. So, can we assume that an addiction is an addict's problem entirely? What would an addict have been if he had not been addicted? What would an addict have been if his brain functions have not been entirely affected? And how do addicts get addicted? Is accidental exposure or consumption of addictive substances in an early age-12 years-old, for example- under the heat of peer pressure considered an intentional, conscious action? Why wouldn't you blame a 12 year-old like you do blame a 20-year old? Because we know that young folks have not matured enough in brain functions to take fully studied decisions. That is why our society is controlled by the notion of 18+. You can access porn when you are 18, you can drive when you are 18, you can smoke cigarettes when you are 18, you can vote when you are 18, and the list goes on. 18 is believed to be an age at which the average population could be completely accountable for their behavior. So, how should we look at a fully grown addict whose addiction started progressively in an early age to turn into a full-blown monster at his current age? A loser or a winner? Bad or good? What does he/she need? Compassion? Condemning stares? A mixture of both?
We must understand that addiction sets the stage for a unique and delicate perspective because an addiction is a tremendous force of influence that creates unwanted cravings and make the addict experiment with emotions and moments from hell. An addiction constitutes highly negative beliefs about one's self and one's ability to break the ever-repetitive cycle of addiction. And do we do what we do because we believe we can do? If so, what if believing that we cannot do what we can normally do became more of a fact rooted intimately in our brains? Will, in this context, not doing what we should be doing be an illness of our minds or of our real potentials? Why do we fear what we fear? Is it because we believe we cannot or because we truly cannot? Simply, our lives are driven by mind force. Beliefs constitute actions. Sexual harassers are guilt-free because they believe they are abusing lifeless, heartless Barbie dolls. Simply put, an addict who believes deeply that he cannot break the pattern resembles a person who deeply believes that the sky is blue. Did you ever question it? Putting things first, we ought to see addicts in a unique context, approaching them with positive affirmations and feeling keen on helping them break the first and most powerful barrier, that of their minds. Why do we sympathize with those who fear driving because of a negative experience with driving and do not sympathize with those who have had a thousand negative experiences with trying to break free? Why are we so cold with the latter and so understanding and sympathetic with the first?
Nora Volkow, the director of NIDA-National Institute on Drug Abuse-, is a neuroscientist who has studied, for a very long time, the brain changes that addictions constitute and how they reinforce our primitive cravings and weakens the interference of the rational part of our brain. In a very unscientific, simple manner, there are two voices in our heads: the (1) go for it and the(2) think about it this is harmful voice. The first represents our primitive, limbic system and the second represents the evolutionary part that sets apart with our ability to drive our conscious, intentional and well-studied actions. We forgive a lunatic for screaming loudly in a crowded street. Why? Because it is socially comprehended that lunatics suffer brain damage that inhibits rational behavior. What about addicts if we understood the problem behind their symptoms? Addicts are not psychos rambling dangerously; yet, they, in the context of their addictive practices, are mentally damaged and inhibited to perform the functions that we take for granted. How do we classify car brakes that do not work? Do we visit a car specialist to investigate the problem behind the symptom or ditch the car into the nearest lake? That does certainly seem like a naïve question but sometimes we do not comprehend concepts as naïve as this. That reminds me of how parents scold and negatively reinforce their children under the assumption that that will inspire a desire for change and when this mechanism persist to fail, they persist to not comprehend what the-censored-is wrong.
Addicts suffer some form of cognitive impairment that makes impulse control in the presence of addiction use harder than you could possibly imagine. Cues that might feel neutral and not tempting for you might arouse potent, unwanted cravings for the addict. Let's take, for instance, the case of a porn addict whose exposure to cues such as unrestricted internet access might arouse a state of vulnerability and cognitive impairment. Our consciousness is like a funnel that starts large and dims and narrows down as we approach lustful acts that sedates our rational thinking mechanisms. For an addict, however, the frequency and the speed with which he/she slides down the funnel to go to the narrow, completely focused bottom is faster and much easier compared to an individual who does not suffer from a real addiction. An addiction never starts as one yet progresses gradually till it grows to be a force of havoc that interferes dangerously with other important life aspects. Addicts might suffer from negative consequences that ranges from impaired work performance due to depression and preoccupation with the behavior, affected and damaged relationships due to the absence of mental clarity and focus, and spiritual impairment due to the contradictory acts of lust just to name a few.
If an addict enjoys his addiction, why does it break him every time he relapses? If an addict enjoys his addiction, why does he sit down arched with a bowed head and a heavy breath? If an addict enjoys his addiction, why does he prostrate to his lord, asking for forgiveness and aid every time he falls into his dark pit? If an addict enjoys his addiction, why does he scream for help for those who fail to respond? We do not recognize the toll that the addiction brings along. We assume that it is a willing, self-indulgent practice of an idle creature. We overlook the unique characteristics of an addict's situation that might have accelerated the progression of his addiction; divorced parents and a stressful life, introversion and bullying, sexual abuse, and accidental and unintentional exposure. Maybe if we understood situations in their context we can come up with helpful solutions. We can stop being assholes, cold and blind to problems that have never touched our lives. Maybe if we stopped and plunged deeper into patterned manners of judging, we can collide with insights and information we would have never known about.
Our society is plagued with problems that persist to survive because no one is willing to see the light in the heart of people that we might choose to stereotype as bad, losers, or failures. We do not ascribe value to verbal positive reinforcement that could truly change lives. Words as simple as I believe in you, I know you can do it, or I'll be there to support and motivate you could spur the coldest of hearts to shatter down in tears. In a world as hectic and cluttered as this, it breaks and kills to not have a good self-reflection; to see something entirely different from what others see about you. Sometimes the greatest of heroes and heroines are individuals who rose from the darkness to touch the light firsthand. They might reflect on their era of darkness and remember those people who refused to spare them the condemnation and judgmental stares. They might hate them and grow to teach their own children to not listen to loserswho, in this case, might be the very people who choose to label others as incapable, unqualified losers. So, you might come to see life as quite ironic and unworthy of living as a predictor of people's futures and end results. You might choose to support and leave others to tread on their chosen paths. You might choose to give a hand to an addict who can deliver so much to the world if he only found the aid to help him breakthrough his stunting chains.
Simply put, we could offer much more if we only learnt how to ingrain compassion, sympathy and understanding into our bleak hearts.
Inspired by: A personal experience with others and myself in the regard of addictive practices.
