I've been sitting here sucking my pen end trying to be witty and entertaining, but the words that usually just flow from my fingers have dried up.
In desperation I've been for a 'thought shower.' Quite literally I've been standing in the shower searching for inspiration - and I think it's worked. I stepped out of the shower with two weeks worth of ideas and a plan for a big project for next year.
Normally a 'thought shower' (a more politically correct name for a brain storm) involves a meeting room, flip chart, marker pens and a buffet lunch.
I think my version is much better.
Get clean and plan your life.
Fantastic.
Spin those plates!
It got me thinking about whether there are any other 'Corporate Bullshit' (BS) terms that I could try and take literally.
So on the basis that 'no idea is a bad idea', I put on Tris' trainers ('stepped into someone else's shoes') and went round the corner to my local Spar supermarket (my 'one stop shop') to find a cardboard box to 'think outside of', a thermometer to 'take my customer's temperature' and an envelope to push - though I'm not quite sure where I'm supposed to push it to.
In my on-line wanderings I've discovered some sites which will generate a whole smorgasbord of Corporate BS phrases.
In order to evangelize synergy, our paradigm requires that we embody invisible cross-platform upshots!
What????? Click here for some more.
I know I'm not innocent myself. I've been known to 'sing from the same hymn sheet,' with the best of them, and I don't just mean at the Christmas carol concert. However in the face of an overwhelming tide of corporate sewerage, I say if you can't beat them, bingo them!
The next time you are stuck in an interminably dull meeting - dig out your corporate BS bingo card, hide it amongst your hand outs and amuse yourself with a little game. If you start to giggle, people will just think it's because they are being wildly funny with their clever re-invention of the English language.
Alternatively you could see how many corporate BS expressions you can sneak into the conversation without being rumbled - the first to 'reach target' gets a 'golden handshake'.
I'll leave it up to you - 'the sky is the limit'!
