Self Expression Magazine

Tricky Tuesday…

Posted on the 21 August 2012 by Drowqueen @theburnedhand

I have done something that frightens me.  Shhh.  Don’t tell anyone.  I decided to go back to school.  Why?  For many reasons.  If I had to say, I’m sure it has nothing to do with the fact that people younger than me, with no experience, appear to be making more than me just because their program now offers a “master’s degree”.  I’m sure my 10 years work experience (took some time off to be a SAHM) would have possibly gotten me an increase if not for the freeze on raises we had a few years ago.  Who knows.  At any rate, I thought about my future and the path that I was on.  I wanted to do more, and like I always do when I get to this point, I close my eyes and jump.

The reason I decided to jump was because many friends have said, hey, I’m doing this program, want to take it with me?  No, it’s just not the right time, I would always answer.  One friend now has her doctorate and I am proud of her for her achievements.  The thing is, no one can ever take the time away from me that I devoted to my family, and now that they are growing up, I know I made the right decision.  Does it make this any easier?  Nope.  My transcript was so yellowed I could barely read it.  It came from the days of a dot matrix printer with those tabs you pulled off…remember those?

The people on the phone with me have been so nice.  I sound young, I know.  I look young, I know.  I feel like Methuselah when I am speaking to them.  One guy told me he understood how I felt.  He graduated in 2005 and is going back to college.  I laughed.  Oh, 2005.  Yeah.  Whew.  I didn’t know how to get my transcript from one of my schools, but luckily, they have gone electronic.  I mutter to myself when I am typing information in and have to retrieve files to remember what years I actually went.  Yes, for real.  Sigh.

Anyway, the good news is that the government thinks I can pay off a student loan, so if all this red tape and electronic stuff really works, I will have money to buy this book that was listed at $154.  For real.  One book.  I wish I wrote the book that everyone needs for $154.  The other piece of good news I just learned was that if I die, I don’t have to repay the loan…they just wanted to clarify for some people I guess.  Maybe a few spirits were restless and couldn’t cross over thinking about that loan.  I have no idea.

Well, I’m sure I’ll have more stories to tell, but as for now, I have to get back to this class.  Right after I hang up on this automated call telling me I won an all-inclusive vacation worth $16,000.

“They say that we are better educated than our parents’ generation.  What they mean is that we go to school longer.  It is not the same thing.”  ~Richard Yates


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