“I
Am…”
Palanda
Annese Brownlow
“I am Love. I am Peace. I am Joy….I am Love. I am Peace. I am Joy,” I whispered to myself as I whipped my car into the left turning lane.
The sun beamed down through my window shield, signaling the makings of a beautiful, glorious day. I was happy. Which was ridiculously surprising considering the fact that I’d just been laid off. It had come as a bit of a shock, especially considering the manner in which the news was delivered.
“Hey, have you talked to Jeff yet?” he’d asked before I’d even had time to sit down in my office. He being my super-nosy co-worker.
“Well, considering the fact that I just got here,” I wanted to reply but didn’t. I do have manners, after all.
“Well, just so you know, they’re letting some people go today,” he said in a solemn whisper.
“Okayyyyyyy. Is that what Jeff told you?”
“Well,” and this is where he got real serious, “I’m staying, and Noelle’s staying. The rumor is, you’re leaving.”
And there it was. The news of my imminent lay-off delivered in the most insensitive way possible by a man who wasn’t even my boss.
Later, after it was confirmed by my boss, I got mad. Really mad. How dare they get rid of me! I got along great with everyone. My productivity was great. And I dressed my butt off! Heck, I was an absolute joy to work with.
And, yet, I was leaving. It wasn’t fair. Especially when folks like Mr. Nosy Bottoms were staying.
But, then I reminded myself that though the packaging was not quite what I wanted, it was still an opportunity, a blessing in disguise.
Here was my chance to do all the things I’d been complaining about not having time to do. Here was my chance to write, to get my home organized, to read, to plan my “Eat, Pray, Love” trip to Italy. Here was my chance to go to plays, hang out at happy hours across town, go shopping in the middle of the day, and finally try hot yoga. Here was my chance to take a much-deserved break and actually enjoy my life.
And though the temptation to worry and stress out about money and finding another job was there, the reality was I’d been surviving in a crappy economy for years. I’d mastered the art of living well on a meager budget. And I knew how to save in times of prosperity. Though my job was ending, I wasn’t destitute and broke. After all, I’d been stocking away money since I’d been hired, planning for the rainy days that always come without warning.
Besides, stressing and freaking out had never helped me land a job, meet great people, or write yet another amazing blog post. You know what had? Sitting back and trusting that God would take care of me no matter what. Laughing and smiling as if I hadn’t a care in the world. Dancing the night away with friends at a favorite lounge. Breaking bread with a good friend at a favorite restaurant. Living life as if I had every single thing I ever needed and wanted. That’s what had gotten me through my periods of job and/or financial droughts. And that’s what would get me through this one.
And in those moments when I do get overwhelmed and anxious, I don’t hesitate to remind myself who I really am. Job or no job, I am Love. I am Peace. I am Joy. And happiness is mine for the taking. Have you ever been laid off? Were you overwhelmed and anxious? What did you do to maintain Joy during that time?
A Southern girl with her head in the clouds, her heart on her sleeve, and her feet firmly planted in sunny LA. Palanda Brownlow is a woman who’s an expert at taking life’s lemons and turning them into cute, little, citrusy cocktails. A woman courageous enough to abandon a life and a job on the West Coast to take a non-paying (non-paying!) internship on the East Coast all in pursuit of her life-long dream of becoming a writer. And a woman bold enough to share the good, the bad, and the highly embarrassing, awkward, yet entertaining tales of her dating life on a blog for all the world to see. You can find her hilarious dating escapades at “The Fabulous Dating Misadventures of Poppy J”. Keep up with Palanda on twitter at @MizPoppyJ.
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