Meaning I think too much about deep things and/or useless worries. I could probably be funnier if I'd just chill the fuck out and spend more time getting drunk and/or high and thinking about pandas and funny dance moves and making up hilarious cartoons.
Oh my god someone combined all of those things.
2. Being blunt and strange is totally a good thing.
The strange part is definitely a plus for me. The blunt part is something I'm good at 50% of the time, and the other half the time I'm a total pussy about saying what's on my mind. Sometimes I feel like a goddamn schizophrenic, like one of my personalities is this badass who gives no fucks and talks about beer-can dicks and internet dating all over my public blog, and the other personality is all insecure and worried about what people will think and does things like hesitate to say fuck. Yes, folks. Sometimes Samantha Mother-Fucking Jill of all Trades hesitates to say fuck. You see my confusion.
3. People seem to like it when you get your boyfriend involved.
Like not just talked about or part of stories or whatever, actually involved. Like Jenna Marbles and Max No-Sleeves doing strange dance moves together and stuff like that. And my boyfriend happens to be a hilarious person and a good writer too, and would also probably be a fun person to interview or video or something like that. It's a thought. I bet he'd help me out for the sake of comedy and world peace and general awesomeness.
Jenna and Max performing the "Milking Your Friend Who Is A Cow" dance move. Changing the world.
4. Content is everything. Keywords count. Selling out just enough that you write a blog about the 4th of July ON the 4th of July is huge.
I'm so fucking stubborn. I'm like "no, surely what counts is writing exactly what you want to write, and if it's good, people will find and follow it." But that's not strictly true. Because if you don't market even a tiny little bit, how will anyone hear about you in the first place?
5. It is honestly and legitimately best to be yourself.
Assuming you're cute and funny and awesome. Which I am. So no worries there.
Duh.
6. Being clever and putting a lot of effort in really makes a difference.
Meaning stop dropping off the face of the planet for weeks at a time, Samantha. And if you're going to half-ass your posts, at least make sure they're funny.
7. Appreciation of your followers is very, very important.
And I appreciate you guys a ton. Every comment I receive is like a little piece of fairy-candy, and every new follower is like a summer meadow filled with fresh underwear and free strawberry ice cream.
