Yes, that Portland. Thanks, karmadecay.com
I behave like I'm from Portland. I admit it. I recycle, I am a vegan, I always vote for women/LGBTQ/minority rights, I think the Koch brothers are the devil twice over, I grow my own organic herb garden, I run a feminist humor blog, I have blue hair, most of my closet is vintage clothing, I bicycle everywhere I can, I backpack on the weekends, I love beer and food trucks, and I'm the only one smiling and umbrella-less when it rains.
That...doesn't work so great here in Virginia.
Here are some things I've noticed about being a Portland hippie in the South:
1. I literally have to travel an hour in either direction to find a restaurant that serves vegan food. Unless you count a plain whole grain bagel from Panera or an overpriced fruit cup from Starbucks.
Mmmmmmmm...so appetizing and nutritious. Thanks, dreamstime.com
2. People either hate bicyclists or are terrified of them.
This has become an internet meme, so I know I'm not alone.
By which I mean they either creep past you with a 10-foot bubble, like they've never seen a bicycle before and believe it could suddenly like explode or something, and go entirely into the oncoming lane to pass, or they whip past like you don't exist and/or try to race to beat you to intersections so they don't have to wait for you.
3. If you're lucky enough to find a neighborhood that recycles, and don't have to drive your shit to the bin at the fire station every week, you'll probably find that all your neighbors dump in plastic bags and garbage and fucking banana peels and there's a good chance they have to throw out the whole batch because of it anyway, and it's really really really annoying.
Target is just one of many grocers that will accept plastic bags. Don't put them in your recycle bin, folks!!!
4. Lots of cities here have laws against food trucks. :(
You have no idea how much I miss this. Thanks, grist.org
5. I only get new clothes when I go home to visit my parents. There are no decent vintage shops here, and that is most of what I like to wear. That might seem silly, but you try going a year and a half without any new clothes that you like.
6. Everyone looks at you like you're really weird if you have blue hair/unusual clothing/a bicycle helmet/visible tattoos.
I'm not kidding. It only takes one of those things, and i have all of them.
And don't even get me started on what happens if politics, religion, or society in general come up. I just avoid talking to people.
