Today was one of those days when I gave a lot of thoughts to the things that truly make me happy and no matter how few they are I am glad they exist. Half way through laughing it suddenly hits me that I am happy even for a few seconds, but I am happy and I'm doing all I can to multiply those moments. All of the sudden I feel powerful and eager to make changes but then I remember resourcefulness is not of my qualities and by that I mean resources don't lie around and are not within a hand's reach.
But anyways, what are the things that make me happy ?
Everything feels OK, feels normal, feel like I can do anything, feel accepted, feel appreciated when I watch american TV shows, watching them I see more than acting, characters and storylines. I see through, I see what can't be seen with the naked eye. Whenever I watch something beautifully performed I light up like a candle and make no mistake I think that I can perform that scene just as beautiful. Shame, there aren't casting calls available in my area, the only call that is available is a death call from being poor and miserable. Back to the things that make me happy. TV shows aren't the only ones to make me feel happier, but the apple did not fall far from the tree, next in line are award shows such the Annual Academy Awards more known as The Oscars when the entire acting elite gathers together to celebrate all the work that has been done for the last twelve months, to recognize excellence of professionals in the film industry, including directors, actors and writers. I enjoy this show more than I enjoy a movie, and call me crazy but I fantasize all the time walking to the stage and saying an acceptance speech for an Oscar I've received, but hey, who didn't fantasize about that at least once ?
Other awards shows include Golden Globes, Emmys, Grammys, sometimes Tony Awards, Peoples' Choice, MTV Movie Awards and many many others. Watching these shows gives me the chance to get closer to the stars, noticing stuff that any other people won't, because this is the definition of being a loyal fan, being there for me even if you'll never get close enough just to say "hi". I really enjoy watching favorite stars saying acceptance speeches, one of the best speech I've heard so far comes from Sandra Bullock after winning her first Oscar for her stunning performance in The Blind Side.
It doesn't pass a day for me not to listen for some music that simply plays the strings of my soul, we all have a sheet of notes that is amazingly played by the songs we listen every day. Jazz and blues being my favorite music genres. My life would feel pointless and dreadful without having some music in it, amazing personalities such as David Foster made it possible for me, without realizing the magnitude of his reach he made my life easier to bear. His music helped me in the most difficult times of my life which don't seem to end and I'm only surviving thanks to him. I don't even want to imagine how this world would exist if he wasn't born.
Other little things that give me the chance to enjoy really good moments are when I read casting news, who's gonna play who, who are the new characters that are about to enter the spot light, my main sources for learning this stuff are The Hollywood Reporter, The Internet Movie Database (IMDb), TV Guide and last but not the least, TV Fanatic. Even by a bit but I feel I am a part of that world, I really feel like I belong to it. But that's crazy talk so don't mind me. Anyways, being a part of the show-business/ film industry would really make me happy but there is no way for me to be an active part of it, tell me I'm wrong.These are the moments when I smile like crazy, shame they are so few.
Be kind to one another.
