Creativity Magazine

Whitening Soaps And Life Replacements

Posted on the 29 May 2012 by Sarahkasm @Sarahkasm
She loved soap operas
And television series dramas
She said
That was when she felt
Alive the most
She didn't care
When her grades started to fall
She didn't care
When her marriage fell apart
She didn't care
When her daughter started drugs.
She got through all of them
Watching the bold and the beautiful
Bold lines
Beautiful lies
Unbelievable stories
As opposed to unlivable lives
He took her breath away
In little tired sighs
That handsome blonde lead;
No man could compare to him
She could only dream of someone
Loving her that way
Someone she doesn't know yet,
Person nonexistent;
Not in Africa,
Not in Arabia
Not anywhere on her radar.
Sometimes I like to project my face
On to the girl on screen
She said, as she stuffed low-fat, dried out raisins
Down her starving throat
Trying to reverse the natural growth of her body
Until she could find some resemblance
To Amber, Brooke, Megan, and Jane
And Maria's model friend whatshername,
So she tries all the products in the market
Hair growth, the target, but dying hair was all she found:
Breaking strands like the commercial shows
Right before the model dry blows her hair
Into a silky waterfall
She thinks there is something wrong with her
Why should the product fail?
Curse the Afro, and the fathers who gave her the genes.
She couldn't even inherit her Mother's light skin
Fair and lovely creams worked on her friend
She thinks she must not be putting on enough
So she buys more
Walking around the house
A ghost white creamy face
Hair smothered,
Stomach thunders
Bones stumble with every movement
Muscles dying,
Atrophy- the only trophy she ever found
Glaring at everyone and everything that dares make a sound
The show is back on.
She sighs at the sight of Turkish mansions
And Mexican countrysides
The beauty of Swiss towns
And Parisian nightgowns
The words of smooth haired Italian men
And their dark skin
Dark skin works for them
Not women.
If I had some of those
Maybe my life wouldn't be so
Cold.
Dead.
Unbearable.
Alone.
Do you think we could all have that love?
Look that good?
I just feel so misunderstood.
Alone.
She didn't want an answer to that
She turned back to 90210
Forty years old
Trying to remember if she ever looked that good;
A supermodel, aged twenty
In high school.

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