Who Put Rubber Balls in This Gravy?

Well today just sucked! Not just because it was Monday, but I'm still sick, and so is my wife! As I write, she's wasting away at the clinic, waiting to see a doctor. She's been sick for a whole week, and hasn't shown any signs of getting better. I'm starting to worry about her. Before she left for the clinic, she asked if I could take care of the evening meal, and of course I said yes. I always ask if there is something she would like, or if she had something  in mind. Well she tells me she thawed out some ground beef, and we have Hamburger Helper in the cupboard. Tells me it's quick and easy, so why don't you just whip that up, and we can have that!Having some experience with this Hamburger Helper in the past, I decided to jazz it up just a bit. So I cut some green pepper, mushrooms, onions, and threw in a little celery to give it a little kick! Added some spices, too numerous to write here, and proceeded to cook it all up!After the ground beef and all, had been cooked, I then added the "sauce" mix, the water, and yes, even the "milk" it called for, brought it to a boil, added the noodles, which I'm thinking is the "helper" part, not sure about this, who knows. Did a little stirring, covered, and simmered. So while this was all brewing, I watched a little TV, freakin waste of time there, anyway, time passed, and I checked on "our meal" I ended up with,  what looked like something that had already been eaten once, and recycled again, to be re-eaten! I could not believe it, especially after adding all the things I had. Getting passed the looks of this culinary delight, I tried a taste of it. It tasted worse than it looked. Those noodles, were like little white rubber balls, covered in a thick, sticky, gravy like, brown sauce, that would probably be better as a glue, than anything else. So here I am, wasting some  time, writing this post, trying to think of what I could possibly make my wife, to at least make her feel a little better. I really have no idea, but I know the only Helper will be the three of "us" me, myself, and I!