According to a recent study (such magical words…now you know this is going to be good) conducted by Harvard (oh now it’s legit too), humans are living longer, healthier lives.
This shouldn’t be shocking, what with modern medicine and a constantly growing understanding of how to live long, healthy lives.
However, with all of the morbid obesity, technology induced ADD, and whatever food is currently killing this week, it kind of is a little surprising.
Although if another study is to be believed this boost in longevity is simply giving us more time to get stuck…in the literal sense. Being entrapped by toilets and handcuffs are apparently the most common. So, in this case I suppose what I mean by ”studies” is police reports.
What are these people who are supposedly also (as a whole) living longer, healthier lives doing with handcuffs and toilets that lands then in these tight situations? Not anything that we here at 2WC would allow to be put into print.
So I guess the good news is that even though there’s a greater chance that you will somehow lodge yourself in a toilet, there’s also a greater chance you’ll live to tell the tale. That is, if you really want to tell the tale of how you got stuck in your toilet…that’s up to you.
At the very least we can take comfort in the fact that Darwinism will prevail, even in the face of modern science.
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TIME:
We’re Living Longer-And Healthier
The Fifty Shades of Grey Effect: More Handcuff Incidents Reported
…bi-daily smile…
Best show on television you probably weren’t watching…at least enough of you weren’t…ABC Family and I are not speaking right now, but enjoy the video 
