I've always given words more importance than any other family members and I've been that way ever since I was born. Little did I know that the first words I planned to say was to happen on my third birthday, not sooner, not later. My parents thought I was not going to ever speak but I guess I just enjoyed listening too much and saying what was on my mind was not one of my priorities during the first three years of my life. But given that my parents are who they are they took this as a bad thing. They used to say that the first years of my life I didn't say a single word but afterwards they couldn't shut me up, that I was in a constant words vomiting kind of a state, that I didn't know what to say and what not to say. But I saw it and still see it is that they often didn't agree very much on what I had to say. As long as I can remember myself I've always been a sincere person, didn't like to lie and years have passed and when it comes to lying I am still that person. I guess the people around me were doing their share of lying and they kind of covered my share as well and I didn't want to be a part of that group. I guess you learn a lot when you aren't saying anything and I never had any regrets of being very quite, I guess I liked that way, it was comfortable and it didn't seem to bother anyone.
Twenty-three years have passed and yet I seem the only person in this damn family who gives a damn about words, their importance, what's appropriate and what's not appropriate to say, what is the perfect timing and what's not the perfect timing. I am a great listener but I can't be a listener for too long, I like having long discussions where everyone has something to say and respects each other and everyone has equal chances at saying what's on their minds. Respect, is what I am looking for in every discussion, if there isn't mutual respect all the bets are off. I mean it may take a while, and by while I mean years but eventually I'll snap and say every single thing that has been building up from the first discussion where you had no respect for me. Do not seem shocked if you'll hear things you never heard me saying before. I am gonna make sure to hurt you the same way you hurt me, I'll try very hard and I'll make it my mission to succeed even if there aren't many things in my life I've succeeded at but this is one thing I won't accept a failure at.
I love communicating, I am nothing if I can't communicate, as I said in the lines above I'll respect you like no one ever did before, I am more open and flexible than other people have given me credit for. I may argue with you, not to prove that you're a fool and that you're wrong but simply because I think I am right, but if you bring me good arguments I am willing to reconsider the things I used to believe in. Yet, the chances are pretty slim, not because some say I am stubborn but because I genuinely know what's right given so many things have gone completely wrong in my life and it keeps happening even nowadays. Now you may or you may not believe me, that's up to you.
There is a saying among my people, before making the cut you must measure seven times. Translating it into the culture of communication it means before saying what's on your mind make sure it doesn't hurt the person you're speaking too, or anyone else for that matter. I won't be a hypocrite and confess that I don't always follow my own advice, of course I make mistakes too but chances are I'll realize the mistakes I've made and immediately apologize and try not to make those mistakes ever again.
I may suck at memorizing stuff for school, like memorizing poetry or long texts but I never sucked at remembering stuff that has been done to me over the years, same applies to words that have been said to me. You may play dumb and deny you've never done those things or you've never said those words but I kept replaying those scenes in my head so many times chances are I'll quote you, word by word. I'll remember every single thing as exactly as it happened and I hate it when I am called a liar and that I make stuff up. Remembering stuff is something I always aced.
My advice to you is always think twice before saying anything, once being said you can't take it back and make no mistake that someday what you said may be held against you and it won't be pretty. If you don't have anything to say for the subject at hand don't say anything, walk away. If something that has been during a discussion you are having point it out immediately so everybody learns and never make that mistake again. Don't pretend like it never happened, chances are it will happen again and it will be uglier. Remember that words may inflict pain and make deep cuts, right now I'd rather be hit or have my face slapped than to hear words I'll never be able to forget, but of course that's debatable, I've been told many ugly things and I've slapped like hundreds of times, I'd say "millions" but now it's not the moment to exaggerate.
Please, I'm begging you, learn this lesson from my experience, you don't have to go through the pain I went, don't inflict pain and don't let pain to be inflicted to you. Don't say words that you will regret later, if you're not considering taking this advice than you don't have the slightest idea of how much powerful a single word can be.
There are many times when writing a post requires adding a personal story and so does this one but it feels like what's been written already has done the trick. And anyway, even if I did add that personal story I feel like I will be judged and be the ones at fault when that is not true. If you wanna hear that story just ask, if you don't wanna hear - don't.
Be good to one another and maybe you'll get to change a life.
Be good to one another and say just the right words when the times are right.
