A Hairy Affair

Don't get too excited; this is not a salacious piece about which celeb in joziwood is having a hot affair. Quite simply put; this is about HAIR, and what a hairy issue it has become for us brown skinned folk working on a so-called 'white' soapie.
Now, I am not about to take the moral high ground here and pontificate about how important it is for 'white' folk to understand us and our unique coily, kinky hair; because quite honestly, I myself do not know too much about caucasian hair. However, I will demand a little less ignorance from the people tasked with getting me camera-ready, especially since it is their job to know simple things like; we relax our hair and constant blow-drying of our delicate hair will mean treatment is more than just a luxury, if we are to have any hope of not balding. Or that my co-stars coloured hair cannot be treated in the same way as anothers dredlocks. Most of all, please do not call me a diva because I do not want to wear a plastic wig that was worn by another actress in 1999 when the Manto-Tshabala-Msimang wig was in fashion!!
The ignorance must be a pandamic where I work because the pretty makeup assistant often gets told by the voices in the box that she should pull Salamina's hair further forward. Really??!! I'll say this slowly so that Everybody will understand. There are wigs and there are weaves. I have a weave, which means that the hair is weaved aka sowed into my own hair which is underneath. i.e. It can't be moved around like a wig- which is in most cases pinned into place to secure it. (I will not even get into the latest trend; the lace wig; that may be deemed too higher grade for this forum!)
I thought I had heard it all until the hair HOD was told that my very dark brown weave needs to be changed to one of a different color because it is the same color as my face, as if that wasn't bad enough the ignoramus went on to say that I looked like mud on TV!!
Newsflash sweetheart who does our lighting; when they describe us as 'black', they do not actually mean that we are the color of charcoal. I am brown skinned and seeing as mud is brown I guess I'd say that is an apt description- but get this, even mud has different shades, variations and undertones- so kindly educate yourself and then light me accordingly!!!