This is twelve-year-old Samuel playing with his dear little friend. He loves playing the part of "big kid" as he is the youngest in our family.
I’m normally a fairly optimistic, content Mommy with a bright outlook and lots of smile and laughter with my children.
Lately I haven’t been nearly as optimistic, content or bright though. I’ve been downright cranky, sometimes discouraged and often times exhausted from riding on the perpetually spinning hamster wheel also known as Mommydom.
For other Moms who have children who are on the spectrum, we know any sort of spoken “I love you” from our children is few and far between. I have come to not expect it anymore. When Katherine is home from college, I accept all the verbal praise and love she offers, otherwise, it is a spoken love famine around here.
Last week I was battling some more wars with my parenting self worth, this time regarding Emma. I was driving with Samuel in the car and I don’t know why I said it aloud but I did. I said, “I am a good Mommy,” reassuring myself.
From next to me, I heard Samuel’s voice respond, “Yes, you are….”
I had to turn my head so he couldn’t see me fighting my tears.
“Why thank you, Samuel!” as the actor in me took over so I could look at him and smile.
His simple affirmation was like Christmas and my birthday, no make that every Christmas since he was born and every birthday since he was born suddenly being sprinkled with love dust.
It felt better than any words can describe.
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Julie Jordan Scott is a writer, performance poet, Mommy and mixed-media artist. Her word-love themed art will be for sale at First Friday each month in Downtown Bakersfield. Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.
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