Self Expression Magazine

Am I Addicted To Alcohol Or Drugs?

Posted on the 29 March 2012 by 3stepstorecovery @3StepsToRecvry
To those of you that have already found a way to quitdrinking or using, I have just one thing to say – congratulations! I’ll spendmore time writing about you on another day. But today’s blog post is only forpeople currently struggling alone, quietly, in need of help. So move along, alreadyrecovering addicts, there’s nothingto see here.
There, I said it. Now that we have that settled, let’s talkabout you, my actively drinking and/orusing friend. Before we begin, it’s important to know that you are not alone.Although two decades have passed, I still remember how it felt to live in thegrip of addiction like it was yesterday. Addicts and alcoholics exist in astrange kind of Netherworld – it’s like living in a bubble of loneliness youcan’t punch your way through, no matter how hard you try. Even worse, no onearound you understands what life inside the bubble feels like, or that thebubble even exists, unless they have a substance abuse problem of their own.Even addicts that know the bubble well don’t dare to talk about it with oneanother. The whole point of drinking or getting high is to escape unpleasantthoughts, after all. If you want to find yourself sitting alone at the bar,turn to your best drinking buddies sitting on either side of you and tell themyou think you might have a problem. In about two seconds, they’ll suddenly spota friend across the bar they’ve been meaning to catch up with, grab their drinkand run for their lives. That’s just how drunks and druggies roll. 
Every addict knows about the bubble. It's a great place to hide out from the rest of the world. Well, until you're tired of living in one and try to find a way out of it, at least. trapped in a bubble
If you want to know whether or not you might have anaddiction problem, you’ve come to the right place. I was quite the accomplishedaddict in my day and got my masters degree in hitting bottom the old-fashionedway – I earned it. But, before I share my prestigious credentials with you,here’s a little hint – if you think you might have a problem, you probablydo. Admitting it to ourselves is the firststep, but we’ll get to that on another day. You have to be aware there’s aproblem before you can fix one.
So, what are some signs we might be addicted to booze ordrugs?
·   Family’sa good place to start – while most friends will tell you anything you want to hear in order to avoid hurting your feelings,most family members are more than happy to tell you the truth, even when it hurts. Some family members even take pleasure from it. Do those closest to you tell you that you’ve changed andask what’s wrong with you? Do you resent them for it and start avoiding familygatherings because you think it’s them that has the problem, not you? Or do youfind that the only time you feel comfortable even being around them is whenyou’re drunk or high? ·   Everrun into an old, non-partying friend on the street that you hung out with whenyou were younger? Have any of them ever stared at you oddly, as if they don’treally recognize the former friend they used to know? Did you gradually lose touchwith them over time because they stopped getting high and you didn’t? ·   Doesa silent alarm clock ring in your head around the same time every day, alertingyou that it’s beer o’clock? Do you spend most of your day at work or schoolthinking about getting wasted later? ·   Andhow about that bubble I mentioned earlier? Do you feel like a stranger livingin your own skin? Is there a silent scream whispering in your ear telling youthat you’re trapped in a bubble and you need to find a way out? I spent manyyears trying to drown that voice with another drink or joint, but never couldshut it up for long. The voice has an annoying habit of screaming at the worstof times. Mine used to jerk me out of a sound sleep and scream in my ear ataround 3 or 4 a.m. The message was always the same – you better change yourlife, unless you want to die!·   Haveyou tried following the voice’s advice and decided to quit drinking or using onyour own, but fallen back into the same old routine time after time, no matterhow hard you try?·   Whenwas the last time you felt truly happy and content? When was the last time youfelt anything at all, apart from silent desperation and an empty, hollownumbness? 
If these symptoms sound familiar, you might just have anaddiction problem. In fact, I’ll go out on a limb here and guarantee you thatyou are, indeed, an addict or alcoholic.
That’s the bad news. The good news is there’s a way out ofthe bubble and you’ve come to the right place to find it. Take a little time toreview the signs of addiction, mull them over, and ask if they apply to you. Ifthe answer is yes, come on back tomorrow and we’ll talk some more.

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