Apologies

When I moved to Pennsylvania, I began hanging out with my friend, Kyle, and his girlfriend, Suz, on double dates. It was an interesting dynamic because I had really really flirted with Kyle while he and Suz had been long distance in college. I started dating M, Kyle's roommate, to make him jealous and leave his girlfriend. That backfired when I fell head over heels in love with M, that vile seducer. Every time we'd go on double dates with the four of us the guilt over what I had done weighed heavily on my mind.
Suz and I have started becoming really good friends. We meet each other once a week for happy hours where we dish out the serious details of our relationships. It helps because I've known Kyle for six years and can sympathize with his character flaws. She is going to be a lawyer, so we connect on that level as well with my current tax/law school program. I have wanted to apologize to her for almost a year now about the flirting with Kyle. I felt like we were dancing around the elephant in the room when we'd talk about her relationship with Kyle in college. Last night over drinks, I got up the courage to do it.
"Suz, I have something to apologize for," I said so seriously as I ate her fries.
"Yeah?"
"I flirted with Kyle in college and held hands with him once at the mall." I blurted out.
She gasped "Oh no! You held hands with him four years ago?! That's outrageous!"
Of course she was joking. Apparently Kyle has been a big hand holding whore since they were 14 years old when she caught him holding a 12 year old's hand at the library. And the fact it was four years ago was NO BIG DEAL to her.
I dished out another secret: "Well, I also started dating M to get Kyle jealous and break up with you."
She ate some fries and replied "I know."
"You knew?"
"Elle, you are one of the most transparent people I know. It was obvious for even outsiders to realize that you liked Kyle. It seemed odd that you were all of a sudden interested in M."
I had been sweating bullets for a year with the guilt, and the bitch knew about everything and didn't even care!
Then she shared a secret with me: "We were cleaning out Kyle's apartment a year ago and found this old postcard from you when you were studying in England. It was hot pink and you went on and on about how you missed Kyle and then you wrote 'I better stop right there because I don't want to cross a line'. We laughed over it, and then threw it away."
This whole situation makes me shake my head and shrug over the stupidity of my younger self. And that elephant in the room has trampled away. :)