Attempts At Getting Suspended

When life gets boring, we look for bizarre ways to make it entertaining. In college, someone said that an engineering course is not complete unless you get suspended at least once. Bizarre entertainment strategy? I think yes. But you have to do something really radical to get suspended. The idea sounded appealing (but the accounts of those who really did get suspended were quite depressing). Here are two incidents which took place in college. We did not act the way we did because we wanted to get suspended; but we did think that would be a consequence. The intent was mild. Not at all radical.
Incident 1: “The no water anywhere; not a drop to drink or otherwise” day. One day, the girls of the hostel woke up to dry whistling taps. We were already on edge with bad food, low signal strengths, dead TVs etc. This was a sort of a last straw. We made umpteen phone calls to wardens, professors, The Almighty Principal, but all in vain. Neither the taps worked, nor a holiday was given. We refused to move till mid-morning. If they did not give us a holiday, we’ll take one anyway, we decided. Then there were umpteen phone-calls pouring back, requesting, no, of course not, ordering us to come right to class, no matter how much we stank. So we went. In our pajamas! As we proudly entered the gates, we saw some shocked faces. Some people doubled over with laughter. Some juniors looked at us with undeniable respect! We marched straight to the staffroom, into the faces of scandalized professors. We glowed with pride. They said, “Please go back to the hostel, we’ll see what we can do.” That was unfortunate. We did not get suspended. Hell! We did not even get reprimanded. Anyway.
Incident 2: “You can’t teach us. We’ll see if we care enough to learn” day. We went to college one fine day to see only a few of us had turned up. It wasn’t a holiday. The other batches were functioning normally. The professor hadn’t come in yet. Those of us who did turn up had a quick round table. “What’ll the professor teach us? There’s no point of giving a lecture with only few of us here. We’ll tell the professor to call off the lecture.” “Or, we could leave before she arrives.” There were bulbs glowing over everyone’s heads at this. Little Eclairs laddoos were bursting in little white callout clouds. So that’s what we did. We walked out before our professor came in, bolted the classroom door securely and walked out. “Mass bunk! Yeah!” we screamed (in hushed tones) once we were out on the grounds. I tried to imagine the face of the professor who would have walked to the classroom, only to find it bolted by her students. *Slightly cruel laughter*. The next day, no one even asked us about it. Maybe even the professor hadn’t turned up. One more attempt at suspension was thus thwarted! *Disappointed*
Note to kids in college: These stunts were performed by amateurs who tried their best but did not succeed at securing a suspension. Please do not try these in your college. Try something better! Copyright Petrichor and Clouds 2013 at petrichorandclouds.blogspot.com Please do not reproduce the material published here.