I have hosted a series of blog posts with quotes, questions and prompts for over a year now. In thes, Let Your Word Flow series I have facilitated a-ha moments for others but I haven't worked many of the prompts myself.
I made a brave choice this week to stop being in a relationship with my best friend. Writing that here just caused my throat to tighten and the center of my chest hurt. I wrote yesterday about a breakthrough I had and I knew I needed to follow that insight with appropriate action.
Is it easy? Am I happy? Would I feel better if I continued how I have been going?
The answers are no, no and definitely no.
I definitely know how free flow writing would help me move forward in understanding if nothing else. I wrote in two different chunks. It is a work in progress, a definite first draft and I know I will stir it up and continue to write through this experience.
With that said, here we go:
And immediately I wrote….
I am brave enough to….
Start -- begin again wonder. I am brave enough to wonder and act upon the wonder that presents itself to me. I am brave enough to take action, wildly. I am brave enough to act audaciously. I am brave enough to take off my masks and write, play, dance and thumb my nose to convention. I am brave enough to be exactly who I am, unabashedly. I am brave enough to not call him, or text him or answer his calls. I am brave enough to grieve. I am brave enough to cry and grieve and yell. I am brave enough to feel angry and to express angry and to spit at anger and to cuddle and kiss anger. I am brave enough to act upon my anger with love. How to do that? I am not sure yet. I am brave enough to not know how but to begin, anyway. I am brave again to start again begin again even not knowing what is next or where I am going. I am brave enough to actually put on a blindfold and let ‘er rip… because I am brave enough to call a friend to text a friend to email a friend and request company along the pock-marked path. I am audacious enough to hand her a blindfold, too. I am fearless enough to invite an audience to watch me bobble and weave and take missteps along the way. I am fearless, audacious and brave enough to be polite and forgiving when they laugh at me and point and say mean things. I am powerful enough to know their pointing and laughing and saying mean things is about them, not about me.
Two hours later, I wrote again.
I am brave enough to…..
I am brave enough to continue to speak and act gracefully, to think before I speak and to love without boundaries yet while using boundaries as a comfort for myself and others. I am brave enough to know there is “no getting back at others” because I am the one who gets hurt by retaliation. I am brave enough to call on love and call to love and to use the residual anger to create rather than destroy. I am brave enough to have creative, conscious anger from this point forward.
I am brave enough to realize the process of writing these words is akin to prayer.
I am brave enough to breathe. To listen. To continue to move forward and to know looking back is just looking back - to recognize the beauty that lives there as well as the sheer ugliness. I am brave enough to grieve both.
I am brave enough to seek comfort and care that doesn’t hurt myself or others.
So - I am brave enough to continue to write into this prompt for the next few days or weeks or months or however long it takes.
= = = = =
I am brave enough to do that and to be there - with audacious courage and grace.
I hope you’ll join the adventure, applying this prompt in your life however it fits the best.
=====
Julie Jordan Scott is a writer, performance poet, Mommy and mixed-media artist. Coming soon - more creativity camps, playgrounds and workshops to grow yourself artistically (and hey, just for fun!)
Check out the links below to follow her on a bunch of different social media channels, especially if you find the idea of a Word-Love Party bus particularly enticing.
Please stay in touch: Follow me on Twitter: @JulieJordanScot
Be sure to "Like" WritingCampwithJJS on Facebook. (Thank you!)
Follow on Instagram
And naturally, on Pinterest, too!
© 2014 - Julie Jordan Scott - all rights reserved.
