I have a few different potential opportunities floating around right now, and I'm not quite sure what the Lord is trying to show me through them. I know which option would be great to grasp onto in fear and protect my heart, and which would follow what he's told me to do - but involves being vulnerable and open hearted.
Yesterday I was really going with fear, and even emailed a girlfriend pouring out my heart on the subject. So I prayed about it. It's funny how when you pray something and feel confirmation - it's really easy to either (1) forget about it; or (2) start to doubt that it could be true. My attitude changed on the spot. If that's not proof of God's will, I don't know what is.
Then this morning I opened my bible and came up on the verses on the Armor of God. It starts, "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in the strength of his might." I felt like God was speaking straight to my heart. Yesterday I was believing lies. Yesterday I was grasping onto the fear that the evil one was placing right in front of my face.
So, today. Today I am going to be strong in the Lord. I'm going to accept that I can't even rest in my own strength, but in the strength of his might. And I'm going to pray for a shield of faith to extinguish the darts of the evil one.