Yesterday evening I had the first half of my parent-teacher conferences. The kids get their report cards right before Christmas break and then the letters for the parent-teacher conferences are sent out, because those are held right after.
At 10 past 8 p.m. one of my students came in with both his parents. I can’t say how much it pleases me to see this, because often times the students doesn’t come along. Immediately at the start of our conference, the parents disclosed that their child, let’s call him Y., had only handed his parents his report card that morning. Apparently, he had been hiding it from them the entire Christmas break and an extra week to boot.
Since there were two insufficient grades on his report card, he was probably scared to show it to his parents, not realising that hiding it would only make things worse. Y. started crying right off the bat, which is always a struggle for me, because I have a particular soft spot for crying boys and I have to be careful not to cry along with them. Lucky for me, I was (and am) suffering a severe chest cold, and my eyes were already somewhat red and blurry.
It was a tough conversation to have. Y.’s dad kept trying to convince him that he’s only strict because he wants his son to make the best of himself, to achieve everything he can achieve. However, adolescents just don’t see it that way. They usually think you’re only out to get them, that you’re the big bad adult monster. Dad was fighting a battle that was lost from the start.
Thing is, at the end of the conference I managed to twist the conversation into something positive, telling Y. that hiding away problems does not solve them and also leaves you all alone to solve them. “Sharing divides the burden,” I added. Surprisingly, his head perked up at that and he seemed to understand what I was saying. He even left with a slight smile.
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