I feel stupid saying this now, because now none of it matters. It won’t ever be good enough and I get that on some level on this artificial-intelligent plastic droopy bodybag but I also know I’m not ready to stop, so, who knows.
I’ve met my first goal weight and today dropped below it. Goal weight #2 is 4 pounds away. And then #3, and #4. And. And I’m still fat. Still. I kid you not.
Didn’t eat all day. Drank a raw juice with carrots and turmeric for dinner. Joe was getting antsy so I ate sushi. Full blown ketosis and B12 and iron definiciencies and hair on the bathroom floor and blood pressure that likes to bottom out. And clothes don’t fit but I guess I’m not caring. New doctor prescribed Lexapro but holy shit no. One night of intense nausea and insomnia so there’s no way. Guess I choose crazy.
