December 20 - What did you change your mind
about in 2012?
Did you have a change of heart about anything? What was it, and why?
Those who have been reading me for a while know I have been dealing with melanoma this Fall. I actually have time calendared to deal with it through January 3, when I visit my surgeon again to hear whether or not I need an additional surgery.
I am open to either having surgery or not having surgery, primarily because of my change of heart and mind in 2012.
When I started my cancer journey, I landed the plane on my life coaching/personal development/training, etc business.
I also pulled the Theater Performance Train into the station.
I was in a tenuous spot. I didn’t know what sort of treatment I would need or what the recovery time would actually turn out to be for me. Healing is all individual. I hadn’t had a surgery since I had my tonsils out when I was six-years-old so I had no idea how to might work.
Day Four of Melanoma Surgery Recovery. Scar is covered with band aid.
I was
happiest when I have maintained control over how much of my “new face” I show
the world. I have done some contract work and have appeared as an emcee and
done some poetry and storytelling performances, but these were all under
carefully controlled circumstances. It was all carefully controlled by me, mind
you, and my friends understood, mostly.
I never thought I would be comfortable with not providing my usual life coaching and teaching and writing process work with groups, but I was and I am comfortable with it. I made the choice and I am standing in that choice.
I miss the large scale absence of my work, but I am taking more time for writing, for art, for my family and it has worked out well.
Next up, though, is deciding when and how to relaunch myself, especially given the unknown of my January 3 surgeon visit.
My “rough draft” thought is to schedule some “open house” events via telephone. I found I could talk on the phone mindfully within three or four days of surgery AND I found even though it is tempting to run around town after surgery, I need to mostly just stay put and remember not to lean over at all. You have no idea how much pressure goes to your face when you lean from the waist!
I am completely cool with this plan and have no anxiety about it.
My heart and mind have definitely shifted into a more abundant, more self-loving, more REAL place. I haven’t just talked about it, I have lived it.
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© 2012 by Julie Jordan Scott
