Confessions of a Benefactor!

The sound of a metal hitting another awakened her as she lay across the footpath in close proximity to the railway station. Gradually, she turned around, moving aside the elongated plastic sheet with which she had been covering and shielding herself from the biting cold. She looked much older than her age. The Grayed uncombed hair, poor eyesight, stained teeth all made her look just like any other beggar.  Despite finding that someone had offered money there was never a change in her facial expression because she very well knew that with whatever little money lay in the plate before her, she would have to fill her stomach may be for the next one day or two or three.When she was about to leave to arrange for food, she heard yet another clunking noise of the coin. Now, it was a man in his late 40’s accompanied by his family had offered her money. He was the same man who had been offering her`2 every single day for the past 2 weeks. Looking at his family as they struggled to cross the street for the first time in years she smiled. As she saw his little daughters, she wished a better life for them. She hoped that they will be taught things appropriately and are educated unlike her. After all she too once had the same innocence this kid now has. She too used to be happy and smiled always. Now she wondered where in time had she gone wrong.Being the eldest in the family of eleven children, she was always asked to be caring towards her younger siblings. Whenever she was cranky, her parents had taught her that girls will have to listen to everything that’s told and cannot question. That was the first lesson she had learnt which she now realized was completely erroneous. As she grew up, she and her sisters weren’t allowed to go to school since it was sermonized that girls are only supposed to take care of chores at home. She now remembered that when she was all of nine and had craved for a pair of bangles she saw in a village fair, she was again told by her mother that girl’s cannot have wishes or expectations. She then acknowledged the fact that she had to be happy if her Father gets it but can never ask for it herself.  By the age of nine, things she knew was that she should never question, had to oblige to anything expected from her and couldn't have desires as well.Sitting there she could now reminisce how uncomfortable she had felt to be in that heavy red lehenga when she was 11.  But she was asked not to be petulant since that was what every girl wore for her wedding. Even though it was crystal clear that she did not want to leave the house, her parents had convinced her that she would be happy in her new home. She wondered then as to why was she supposed to go to his house and why can he not come after all he was 25, big enough to help her father at work. But then she was influenced when it was said that her husband would look after her very well provided she always obeyed him. So, as expected from her all she did throughout was just do what was told but her husband had proved to be otherwise. Moreover, she had agreed only because her father had assured her that since her husband was better off financially she wouldn’t have to indulge in any daily chores and would get to have lavish food every day. Now, she thought that she had trusted her father but then why was she treated like any other maid in her husband’s house.  Long ago, when her parents had told her that they would visit her often at her new place she had the confidence in them, but later she hardly heard from them.In place of her parents now was her husband, whose words she had to take note of. Two years later, when she had felt something unusual about herself, she was persuaded that she was simply nerve-racking. Having had no choice again she had believed those words, only to give birth to her son later, at an age when she should have been playing around herself.  Her husband had told her that their life will be beautiful then on; about which she had not a single doubt in her mind. After all, her mother had advocated to her that husband was to be treated equal to God since they would take care of the entire family.By the time she was twenty, she knew something was awfully wrong. Inspite of being used to her husband being drunk all these years, she sensed something different. But, she would never question as that was the one of the initial lessons she had learnt to not ask. Within months, her husband’s character was the talk of the village, but just like her parents had told her she had never dared to doubt him. She could now recollect that; that unfortunate day was just like any other evening since she had finished cooking dinner, bathed her son, drew water from the well and waited for her husband to return. But he did not. She waited another day, another week, a month, a year never knowing that she would have to a whole lifetime. Why? She had wondered a million times by now. She had done everything as it was told to her. Since, she was a girl child; she had never questioned and had obeyed every single order that came her way. She was always told that she would have a better life after wedding, but why didn’t that happen? Why did her parents not keep in touch with her after her wedding, even though they had promised her? Why didn’t her husband fulfill his promise of keeping her happy? Most of all, why did he not love her in return?After he had abandoned her, she struggled to bring up her only son. She worked in fields and in Zamindar’s houses. Finally, she had the nerve to move to a city when a lady from the village promised her better work in the town close by. Here, she got a job of a construction worker and enrolled her son to a school nearby as advised by her supervisor.Years had passed, and now she had got into another routine in life when one sudden day all hell broke loose. Her son had believed all the stories told by people around and questioned her about his father. She failed to understand as to why did he not accept that his Father had indeed abandoned them. Meanwhile, she had also realized that he had qualms on how did she earn money to raise him. The irony was that unlike her who believed all of what her parents told, her son did not trust her at all. She wondered why was it so different, tried clearing up all his uncertainty until an ill-fated day struck. Just like years before, she was now deserted by her son leaving her to fend for herself. Today, years later it had been two continuous weeks that she was seeing him. He was the one who offered her money every day. Somewhere she knew that she was beyond recognition by now and had decided that she wouldonly bless him and never question. What she did not know was that she was committing another blunder by deciding to leave rest of her life by trusting that her son hated her just because he had told it once on that wretched day.  And here he was now searching for his mother after learning the truth but will have to spend his entire life only with a hope.The day she breathes her last would mark a beginning of a life of regret for him since the hope he now has will only pass away with her....

Real photo of a beggar lady who smiles always inspite of having nothing.

I bet you just felt how fortunate you are! HPK!!!