Self Expression Magazine

DAY 8: STOP in the Name of Love

Posted on the 05 August 2012 by Nicky83 @thebigthreezero
I have a confession....I am a smoker! 
DAY 8: STOP in the name of loveI started smoking when I was about 14/15 years old. I can't remember my first cigarette but I do remember thinking I was pretty grown up. The reality was I was terrified my mom would kill me if she found out. So I carried around a kit containing chewing gum, body spray and scented hand lotion to cover up any evidence. In case your interested it didn't work and I was then grounded for the entire 6 weeks summer holidays. BUSTED!
A lot of my friends through school, college and university smoked so I had no incentive to stop. I remember making a pact with a girl from school that 'when the cost of cigarettes exceeded £5 we would stop'. I also made a pact with my bestie in college to stop smoking after her dad was diagnosed with COPD. None of these promises were clearly ever kept and I continued to smoke thinking I was young and untouchable. 
Now I'm counting down to my 30th birthday I got thinking about things I wanted to change and achieve. Top of that list was to stop smoking because I never imagined that after 15 years I would still be a smoker as I thought turning 30 would have given me more sense.
So after weighing up the pro's and con's I went for it 'I Nicola STOPPED smoking yesterday'. I have not had a cigarette in 2 days. Excellent it's a start in the right direction but I feel awfulDAY 8: STOP in the name of loveI can't stop thinking about having a cigarette. So I keep telling myself I stopped to give us better chances of pursuing a family in the future. Despite this positive thinking I can't stop myself from being grumpy, irritable and feeling like I want to scream and bite everyone who looks at me. Hopefully this gets better, please say this gets better!

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