Day Seven of University

Hey guys,
DAY SEVEN OF UNI! I cannot believe it has been one whole week of University; life here has been great. I'm settling down well- despite Freshers flu. I've made great friends and they are all so supportive.
I went to a church today, controversial for some - atheists etc. But for me going to church is vital to my faith as a Christian.
 Despite not going to Church at home University provides such an opportunity for me to do this. I won't name the Church I went to today for obvious reason. Yet, I knew as I walked in despite not wanting to have a closed mind it wasn't right for me personally. Normally, if I was to visit a church I would get the inclination that 100% yes this is for me; that didn't happen. It's not that I'm expecting nor waiting on the perfect church to step up and shout yes me! I'm waiting on the right inclination from God; with that I put all my trust and faith in him. It's not that I didn't like the people, a lunch also provided added to their polite attitude and warm persona. I hate to criticise, churches especially- yet this was such a displaced church? Should that be the right word? When we were worshipping all I could hear was children crying! At home the children are always sent off before the service to the crèche  for just that reason. It didn't help that the atmosphere was misplaced because of how large a space it was; it felt so un warm. This could be down to the fact it was freezing in there! I loved the song worship totally agree there I felt god's presence despite feeling so awkward within this church. I didn't feel it empower me though which is something to me that signifies God is really with me, that this is really the right decision. I felt lousy to be fair, illness aside I just wasn't feeling "wow this is amazing"! When it came to the bible reading; after the children had left thank goodness; I could breathe a sigh of relief! It didn't seem to fit to me, about being leaders; of course I want to be a leader in my life but to me I just couldn't relate. I felt like I was trying to shove the last puzzle piece into the jigsaw with failed effort. I also didn't believe in a talk they were having, someone with healing powers was going to give an introduction. I didn't know whether this was actual physical or mental healing either way it made me very weary, for me I don't believe that God can heal cancer. That may be a controversial thing for me to say I just find it hard to believe after praying so hard for my Grandad to be cured it seems hard to believe. Perhaps God can if you pray alone?! But when someone is physically like "I am healing them" it also seems a bit taboo. Secondly, I hated that they were doing a mass baptism, for me I felt like I was lining up on the factory belt. It also felt very pressuring for the minister to say all about baptism, I felt very uncomfortable. I myself haven't been baptised; again very controversial. But for me, baptism is about feeling that connection with God, feeling blessed by God's presence something shared with family and friends. Not the whole congregation and people you don't know! That could just be me but then again that is only a sole opinion.
When it came to lunch, I was relieved sitting in such an awkward environment with people checking their phones; Facebook was the girl in fronts option. People standing up at any occasion to get juice or coffee and then having a chat. I just didn't feel like they cared and for me I want people to be there that care! The lunch was super yummy- that was a highlight! The people were lovely despite some being married when they looked like 19; each to their own. I was encouraged to sign up rather bluntly for emails and texts awkwardly I put the pen to paper.
Upon leaving, having arrived at 10 leaving at half 2 the hours had really shown. I was exhausted I just want to go home and sleep! For me this church... isn't right personally for myself. Anyone else, perhaps they might love it. Yet, I won't be visiting again!
Next week I visit a different church/ churches - hopefully I'll find one!
Love,
TSITR <3 x