I fasted all day in preparation for this delicious meal at my best friend’s house this past Saturday evening… I’m guessing the calorie total was in the 800-850 range, including one glass of red wine. But I didn’t eat anything else all day in preparation, so it was well worth it. Braised beef shortribs in red wine, with delicious stewed carrots and onions, on a bed of creamy mashed potatoes. This was the perfect comfort food meal to help combat the early spring chill in the air. And then we played a cutthroat game of Scrabble and I won by a very close point.
I did have to fight down an overwhelming guilt over the richness and decadence of this meal; it’s getting harder for me to be ok with eating any sort of meal that is not within my safe foods list. I mean, I still lost weight this weekend, but knowing that I consumed the majority of the food on this plate still makes me anxious and upset. But what matters most was the memory of our lovely dinner and the knowledge that it was all delicious and I’m ok for having eaten it. I made up for the splurge yesterday and stayed under 500 calories, but I’d rather not have a repeat meal like this again any time soon.
