The other day I had an idea. I thought I'd create a website that sells myself as a writer. I've been doing so much professional writing recently that I thought I had enough experience to start copywriting. It would be great place to keep my professional portfolio, to show to prospective employers and to even get some work from, by advertising myself as a copywriter.
I started making my website on a whim. I was bored. I was just seeing how it would go. I had no confidence that it would be any good. I was playing around with themes, creating and formatting pages, a bit of writing, just seeing how it went. Then I found the perfect theme for it, that looked professional and clear. Then I thought of the perfect tagline, 'helping you walk the talk'. I wrote a blog post, and content for the website, and it all began to fall together. I found I could get my own domain name set up for £15 for two years!
As the website pieced itself together, I started to see how much I've learned, and how much I actually know about copywriting and marketing. And I'm not such a terrible writer after all.
With all the self-hatred and anxiety I have about myself, by doing this little project, I've been able to see that I kind of do have something good going for me. Its a good feeling, and I'm excited about it. I just like looking at the website I've created. I'm proud of it.
And why should my happiness depend on some choosy employer who doesn't give a shit about me? It might be more fulfilling to do it my way.
I am by no means 'cured' of depression and anxiety. It was only today where I had to try and calm myself down from what was dangerously close to becoming a panic attack. And I don't think I'm confident enough yet to promote it. But it's good to have something to focus on for a bit.
