I had the opportunity to assist someone with shopping this Sunday, the 20th of March 2022. I've always been a great advisor when it comes to fashion but this time I also wanted to try energetic shopping using tools of Access Consciousness for Money and tips by Marie Kondo for Joy.
Money and joy may not always go hand in hand but they are so corelated. You follow joy and you find money on the way. You receive money and joy comes for free. I am not saying that money can buy happiness. Happiness is more of a mindset than a milestone or an object to buy. But having money brings joy because you have one thing fewer to worry about. Sometimes, you have nothing to worry about.
Anyway, I found myself lucky to be assisting someone rich (who can afford any suggestion without worrying about the price-tag) with shopping and trying energetic shopping. I always wanted to do this. I always expected myself to be doing this in Mumbai though (because all the rich and artsy people are there) but life brings what it brings- a divine coincidence, because on any other day, this person would have turned up wearing a t-shirt and not giving a damn about my suggestions to go for shopping.
We first went to Cotton World because that's what he asked. The men's section didn't have a lot of variety. None of the clothes spoke to me that they'd bring more money or joy. But he intuitively picked up a white full-sleeved shirt and came out of the trial room wearing it. I had nothing to do with this but the shirt brought so much joy that I couldn't ask him to keep it back. It didn't make any sense because he was wearing a white half-sleeved shirt exactly and the new one had nothing different to offer, on the surface.
But it had something and I saw it as - Joy. We knew we are making one spend.
Next, he tried on a black shirt full-sleeved and comfortable to wear. He looked pretty good in it so I knew, if nothing else, this shirt is going to make him get some action. I called it the date-night shirt.
The thing about sexual energy is that it is always divine and empowering. Sexual energy is for receiving more than you can imagine. It is about letting your barriers down to expect the unexpected. And more importantly, when you open your doors of receiving you also receive possibilities and sometimes, money. (I do have to learn to word things better if I ever start blogging seriously about energy work for preaching to readers. Receiving money here means money with big projects or opportunities and not anything shady. Damn!).
So we made two spends - one on Joy and another on Joy/Money ambiguous territory. If I remove the energy part from it, we would probably still buy the black shirt and spare the white shirt for logical reasons. At least that's what my Mom would advise.
We went to another store I forgot the name of. And I saw a pair of jeans and that was exactly what was required. It was in the darker blue shade which goes well with white shirts/t-shirts. So, logically it did make sense. And the jeans kind of spoke to me that yes, it will make more money for the client/person I was assisting.
My heart sank a bit when he sad he doesn't like the pattern on the jeans. To ensure if this was the right pair I asked the store assistant to check for discount. I guessed 50% off and the assistant claimed it was at 40% off. That was it!! I wanted to pick the pair but the unfortunate part was that it came in size 32. The store assistants got one-size larger for him but that didn't fit him too. I could feel the energy dropping, while he was busy picking up a navy-blue printed shirt to buy. That was a fine shirt, I thought. But it wasn't THAT pair of jeans!
My pushiness made him agree to buy the pair anyway hoping he could fit into it soon. But the energy was dropping and this energetic shopping work was harder than I thought it would be, just like when I was experimenting with KonMaring Consciously. But then, after 10 days I did see the brilliant result of my effort of de-cluttering in my friendships. Things happen but they take more time, effort and determination than you think they would.
By the time we went to the counter for the purchase, the energy dropped and I wondered if they picked the same pair I picked or not. We still thought it was just 2.4k INR so it was affordable anyway but I doubted that he would wear it soon since getting 2 sizes smaller require tremendous effort and he is a busy man.
The guy at the counter said the discount is actually not applicable and I got my sign to park the jeans. I said we don't want it. There was no logical reason and no energetic reason anymore. Aah, the fleeting timelines of energy! We have to make use of it as soon as it arrives and let go of the doubts. Always.
We went to a new store and he got a pair of jeans. There was Joy. The store assistant said they would need 24 hours to get the jeans altered for the length and I asked them to give it within an hour instead (by 7pm) so that I can pick it up on the same day. They said they'd try. They did. They made it by 6.54pm or so. There you go. :-)
I picked up a t-shirt for myself. I found it on the top most shelf of the store, sitting there waiting for me to be picked up. It fit me and it was affordable - some 1.3k INR. It was mine to keep.
So yes, the jeans felt totally worth a cause. I don't know what the cause was but it spoke of confidence and confidence pays money.
The energies were great that day.
The next afternoon something dipped. I couldn't quite pin it on what it was. It wasn't supposed to happen. I mostly have good days unless bothered by something. I got a call from a potential employer and I didn't feel like responding. By the evening, I didn't feel like doing anything. I wondered if I was blaming myself for not doing anything although resting is a key part of energy work or living consciously.
We rest so that we create better.
By the night, the person texted me that he lost the project he wanted because they were offering less to pay. I was already low and this text made me feel like crying. The energy of doubt and guilt is heavy and I could feel the heaviness of wondering if everything was worth it, if what I do and practice really makes sense. The heaviness of self-doubt was crippling, and I felt like I wouldn't ever offer my services to anyone. I also happened to think of the fact how two of my clients didn't turn up or pay me the fee that day. They had promised they would. What was happening? I am not used to feeling the energy of lack. I went to the extent of telling him "I resign" as a joke.
The feelings were real though. After that I sat with myself for about half an hour. I went back to my texts to him and I realized it was not my place ever to text something so mean like that. It was mean to myself and to his soul.
I was still feeling heavy and was going into the "why"s of things until I realized a few things I learnt by practicing Consciousness-
1. You should never conclude anything. Conclusions block the energies. Your only job is to be open to possibilities. I can't conclude that my efforts worked or didn't work. I can only wait to find out. I cannot conclude whether I will practice this in the future or not. I can only perceive the energies and go with the flow. I can only be open to receiving and giving and never to conclude what will be and what will not be.
2. You can never have a vested outcome when you practice energy clearings. You see, we can't think that because we did this shopping exercise, he should have the project he was worked up about. It was never about this project but about possibilities in general, about creating luck, about wearing luck like you wear clothes.
3. You should never go into the whys. Reasoning are conclusions that stop us from creating greater. Why was it not working with him while it worked for everyone else? I was repeatedly thinking this before until the answer was clear as day in front of me. Because I technically hadn't received money from him and given him tools or clearings or a Bars session so it doesn't say anything about what I practice in isolation with other clients. Because it was just an experiment. Because it was anyway not over yet; nothing ever truly is. I hadn't even asked him what he was wearing. Because it is yet to happen that he forgetfully picks out that blue denim or that black shirt and attends an event. It was too early to say anything. And even if nothing happens, what was the loss? He got good clothes for himself which he wanted in the first place, and I got an experience to see how I can do energetic shopping for a client.
4. Your job is not to fix other people even if they are your clients. Your job is only to offer your services. I remember doing the Access Bars for the first time on a friend who was on heavy doses of anti-depressants. I wanted her to get better so much that the next day I couldn't get up from my bed to go to work. I felt what a clinical depression feels like. She could sleep well that night but still had to continue her medicines. Of course, she did. Access Bars was never a substitute for prescribed drugs. But I had put so much of my energy into the fact that she should feel better because I gave her a session that I started feeling unwell. My coach cleared it up for me that night.
So yes, once I have done my job, I can just relax and see what happens. I can put in efforts. I don't decide the outcomes. And when my efforts are done, I can only relax.
5. Trust the Universe, divine timing, yourself and your own knowing. What's meant to happen will happen. Today, in the morning I realized my bank balance was going below what I had expected. I thought if I could just receive one payment this would be sorted. And then I thought of all the money I am yet to receive. As I write this with a clearer mind, I received another client who paid me and made my bank balance balanced. I never expected this client, because the previous night my mind was focused on the two who had postponed their sessions. It felt like a loss yesterday, but to be fair to them they still won't choose anyone else over me and will take their sessions from me in the future. It's just that we don't know when.
6. Choose lightness over heaviness. Do not go into trying to make a heavy situation light. There's no point trying to ruminate over the loss and feeling heavier, and trying to convert it into a gain with energy work. It'd be an expense of too much energy. Also, I had avoided the phone-call of the employer yesterday because I didn't feel good but today I called him back. The role is something different and something that interests me for now. I am yet to look at the JD. I am yet to go into the doubts of why I choose crazy roles and crazy career paths. But yes, what feels good feels good. I will only respond to his mail when I feel like it. No conclusions to be made here.
7. Don't make it significant. I don't need to make it significant that it was my first energetic shopping. There's a thing about firsts and I now let that thing go. Your first doesn't need to be the most successful thing you have ever done. Your first doesn't need to be your deciding factor for failure too. Your first doesn't mean make or break.
8. You don't have to prove anything to anyone. Your first doesn't mean you have to prove yourself. What if you don't have to prove anything to anyone? Proving again is a useless expense of energy. You might as well use that energy to create something new, something more.
I remember going up to my brother in-law a couple of days back, saying maybe I should start looking for a job. And he said things haven't even started yet. I am yet to go to my first trip. I am yet to get bored of boredom and freedom. Let things happen when they are due.
(P.S. Despite how low-energy yesterday was I finally got an apology I should have received a year back. I never asked for the apology and had forgiven the person in my mind but yesterday I found it in my DMs in spelled out words. I accepted it. It was long due and well deserved. :-) )
What's meant to be yours cannot pass you by.
All is good when I remember my lessons well. Life's an adventure. Let's play.
What else is possible?
