7:07pm
Dear Diary,
In today’s Psychology 112 lecture, we learnt about depression – the signs, symptoms and how to treat it. I always knew I may be slightly depressed (ever since my ex girlfriend broke up with me) but as the lecture went on, I started noticing how many of the signs I had for Bipolar Type I depression and realised I may indeed have it.
I went into a massive depressive state when my ex broke up with me; no motivation to do anything, nothing I did was fun, I was unhappy, I didn’t go to lectures or even get out of bed, I woke up at 4am on numerous occasions with terrible thoughts in my head about how I’ve failed at life. And, as you may have noticed from my previous few posts, I became so happy, just because the weather was sunny. Maybe it wasn’t the weather, but I was having a manic moment, and then I’ll fall back into the depressive state again. I hate all of this – I wish I never got a girlfriend in the first place. Then I’d be happy, and not a wreck, with my moods constantly changing from one end of the spectrum to another.
The weather today didn’t help either – the sun has gone and the rain has come back. Such a depressing atmosphere, and I’ve been quite depressed today, compared to the last couple of days. For some reason, I’m still thinking about my ex, as much as I don’t want to.
I’m not going to see a counselor or anything though, I don’t want to make a big deal out of this depression thing. Hopefully this is just a phase and I’ll be back to normal again. Hopefully.
I went out shopping again today – this time I bought the book “The Diary of a Young Girl” by Anne Frank. I love this book, and will write a small review of it after this. I really should stop buying stuff, I’m so low on money at the moment and I’m on $1000 overdraft with the bank so I have to pay that off as well. Student life is always so interesting!
I went back to Spec-Savers today to tell them how the ‘fixed’ glasses weren’t working for me (I was as nice as I could be about it) and they offered to try and fix it again. Then, after 10 minutes of waiting, they said they couldn’t fix it – the spring system in the right hinge had broken and they’d order another identical frame for me, free of charge because it was covered by the warranty! The new frames may take a week or so to arrive here, but I’m not going to complain. Spec-Savers, if this works out then you are the best!
I have told my friend that “for now I will accept your offer [to live with you guys next year] but if a better opportunity arises I’ll accept that one and ditch you guys”. He said it was okay though – he must be getting desperate for a 4th person to flat with and so he took that answer and went to take the flat. But he was literally 1 hour too late – he texted the owner this morning and someone else had taken it just before him. If he texted them yesterday, then we would have the flat, but oh well, that’s life. It’s funny how things work, I gave him the answer last night and it was just too late. I guess I shouldn’t have taken so long with my decision, but that’s life. We’re going to have to look for another flat.
Yours, -Harper
